Saturday, August 30, 2008

I was waiting for the lift after visiting mum. When the lift door opened, I saw that the lift was too crowded. There was a stretcher and many people standing around it inside the lift. So I chose to wait for the next lift instead. As the door was closing, I recognized one of the ladies inside the lift. I tried to figure out who she was, I turned my attention to another person in the lift and I saw Sheila's mother. After the lift door closed only did I realise that the patient on the stretcher was Sheila. Gosh, my friend was going into labour and I actually bumped into her. I was just too slow to respond. Inside the lift, Sheila was amused. She saw it all. She saw how confused I was but she was also too surprised to respond and call me.

What a coincidence!

Friday, August 29, 2008

The end of the semester is a total madness. Today was the last day of the semester. There was so much to do that I was not at the right emotion to bid my students farewell. I wish there was a better way of saying goodbye. The semester is now over, my students will soon be ex-students. A new semester awaits me. But wait, hell is yet to come. I shall only shout MERDEKA when I have finished marking all the exam papers on Sept 16.

Meanwhile, Mom is out of hospital.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Mom is recovering in hospital, thanks to all who were concern about her condition. It is a relief to see her getting better. When we sent her to the hospital, she was semi-conscious and it was really scary. It is not easy to look after aging parents who are dependant and I am grateful that every time I am put to the test, someone is there to help me overcome the challenges.

One of the things that I'm grateful for is my neighbourhood. I am surrounded by reliable neighbours who care and are concern about each other. Neighbours actually help me to watch over my parents when I am work. Of late, there have been break-ins in several houses. Poor Simmi's dog was attacked. My neighbourhood is not as safe as it used to be anymore. It is indeed saddening to have such contamination in a used to be peaceful neighbourhood.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

A week of mishaps.......

Mom is in hospital and she is ill.
Simmi's dog is missing. They found blood in her garden.
Things are not smooth going for us. Pray for us.

Monday, August 25, 2008

It might be a small matter to him but to me, Uncle Charles is indeed a very important man whenever my parents go to Church. Each time I see this Communion Minister on duty, my heart is at peace and I can concentrate fully at mass. Uncle Charles is a Communion Minister who never misses the elderly and disabled. He combs the Church thoroughly during communion time to make sure that he never misses anyone for communion. To the elderly and disabled, he is a hero and they do not have to worry whenever he is on duty.
I know that my parents love going to Church. It’s a great joy for them to be able to receive Christ at communion. I see this excitement not only in my parents but also in the eyes of many other elderly people. There is a certain kind of shine in their eyes each time they go to church and they panic each time someone unfamiliar is on duty because they are scared that they will be missed out during communion. Some people think that this is a small matter but to the elderly, it is indeed a big matter and Uncle Charles is like a God sent angel.
Today, I thanked Uncle Charles for what he does.
“Oh, you are welcome. They used to serve when they were younger, I’m just doing the very little that I can to serve them like how they used to serve others. When I become like them, I trust you will be doing the same thing.” was his reply.
I’ve been a naughty girl over the weekend. I did not sit home and do my homework as I was suppose to. Sheila my friend is expecting her first child which is due next month and yesterday, both Oy Leng and I were invited to a family gathering at Sheila’s place. It was indeed an interesting experience. Both of us went to Sheila’s house not knowing what to expect. We were only told to go and no other explanation was given.
Apparently, it is an Indian tradition to have a ceremony one month before the delivery of the first born in the family. The ceremony is held to bless the pregnant mother so that she will experience a safe delivery and that the child will be healthy. Usually, those who attend this function are closely related to the family. The ideal gift to bring will be food like fruits and desserts for the mother. At the ceremony, every guest, usually the ladies will take turns to bless the soon to be mother with incense, holy water and bangles as a mark of support towards her as she prepares for motherhood. The significance of this act reminded me of the ‘Laying of Hands’ done during priestly ordinations’.
As a non-Indian, both Oy Leng and I were outstanding, awkward and confused at times but I was glad to be there. I thought it was a beautiful experience to see our friend being blessed and supported by those around her. It was comforting to know that there are many people who care and are concern towards her. Once a while, I felt envious because everyone were so cooperative and supportive. They walked into the house with much enthusiasm and everyone seemed to know what to do. Everybody was busy preparing for the ceremony in her own special way. To add more light to the whole atmosphere, Sheila’s husband who usually is shy and quiet made it very clear that he was the happiest man on earth.
We do not know if the baby in Sheila’s womb is a boy or girl. She wants to be surprised at the delivery. Yet, I am proud of my friend. I know that she will be a great mother. I wish both Christopher and Sheila the very best as they usher in a new member in the family.
Aish…….another reminder that I am now an adult, no more a girl.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I am officially sick. After having a clean record of being sick free since Dec 07, I'm finally down with fever and sore throat. What did I do wrong, what did I neglect in my lifestyle to the extend of getting myself sick? I'm not too sure. Anyway, part of me is pretty much glad that I got my fever. I feel normal again.

Meanwhile, I'm glad that petrol is less expensive (though it still is expensive), I'm fed up with people who swear in the name of God to clear their name, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can finish marking all the assignments by this weekend. I choose to be optimistic to believe that 'I CAN DO IT'.

I can't wait for the next semester to come. This semester is ending and I did many mistakes which I wish to improve for the coming semester. I pity my students for having endured my inexperience. It's two more weeks before their final exam and I pray that all of them will be able to do their best and get the results they deserve.

Mom is getting better, she is still in pain but she can at least get up now for toilet. It is a great relieve for me that her condition is improving. I was actually very scared for a while that she would be bed ridden. I don't think I would have been able to cope if it happened.

Happy weekend to all!

Friday, August 22, 2008

My phone has not been very friendly these days. I am having problems with it. I can't see the caller's name therefore I would not know who called or miscalled unless I answered the phone. It can be pretty much frustrating and makes me anxious at times especially when I am expecting a call. I tried to detect the source of the problem but failed to identify anything. I really do hope that my phone is not kaputing. I am pretty much comfortable with it and am not really keen on buying a new phone. It is nice to not own a camera phone and be a rare species.

This morning, as I was driving to work, a little pup stood right in the middle of the road and 'did his business' on the road before my car like nothing was wrong at all about it. It was not bothered about being knocked at all. I was not frustrated at all, just amused. Ever since I came back home, I think I am more in control of my temper. I don't loose it that easily, in fact I am sometimes even able to laugh frustrating moments away and I'm happy about it.

Got to go for class!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Since coming back from KL, a whole chunk of challenges and unexpected happenings have suddenly appeared in my life.
At work, I still have plenty of assignments and homework to mark and the deadline is next Friday. Besides that, exams are just around the corner and I have new responsibilities to carry. I am also to be an invigilator and I know nothing about it. I have plenty of forms to fill and also rules to strictly follow. After the invigilation, I will have plenty of scripts to mark and I have only ten days to complete those assignments. My colleagues have warned me to expect sleepless nights ahead.
At home, I have mom in bed moaning in pain. The little fall that she had the other day left cracks on two parts of her back bone. She dreads moving herself as it hurts terribly each time she shifts her body. She finds comfort lying in bed. As for now, she is immobile and she is expected to be bedridden for the next two weeks. Dad is in his usual self and needs lots of attention and supervision. He cannot be left unattended for he might just do shocking things like eating things that cannot be eaten together with rice. He cannot remember if he has eaten and is constantly asking for food.
Simmi my neighbor’s grandpa passed away on Monday and I was unaware of it until today. The funeral is over and I was not there to send my condolences. I’m a little bit upset about it because Simmi has been very caring towards my family and I was not there to comfort her. Besides Simmi’s grandpa’s death, I’m also upset over yesterday’s accident. I am annoyed that I have to waste my time settling matters related to the car. If that man had not been careless, all these unnecessary things need not have taken place and I would have had more time for myself, doing things that was more important to me. I am also not feeling very well at the moment. I’ve been having sore throat on and off for the past three days. Today, my throat was awfully painful that I dismissed my class earlier than usual because I could not take the pain any longer.
Yes I have a whole lot of chunk over my head but I choose not to talk to any individual about it because I don’t see a point in expressing all my frustrations on it. Very often, instead of lightening my burden, responses tend to add on to my frustrations because the listener tends to ask questions that will trigger the unhappiness that is within me. I am worried over my problems but I have faith that all these challenges will be overcome in one way or another. For I have people around me who will help me through.
Police: Cik kerja apa?
Jenn: Saya kerja pensyarah.
Police: Kerajaan atau swasta?
Jenn: Swasta.
Police: Saya punya anak sekarang belajar kat universiti, saya mintak dia belajar fizik atau matematik, dia tak nak. Dia dapat 10 A, sekarang dia belajar nak jadi doctor, kecewa saya.
Jenn: Encik harus rasa bangga, anak pakcik bercita-cita tinggi.
Police: Tapi saya rasa lebih baik kalau dia jadi cikgu. Adik saya pensyarah di USM, dia tu pandai juga. Haish, semua di rumah saya tu memang pandai, hanya saya saja yang tiada guna.
I tried to cut short our conversation. There was another man waiting in line and I felt bad for the other guy because the police was not suppose to chat with me and by doing so, he was delaying the time of the other man.
Yesterday, I met with an accident again. Yes, it was my second accident within a month. I felt awkward walking into the police station again. I felt as if my reputation was tarnished. With two accident reports in a month, I would not blame others if they labeled me as a reckless driver.
The accident happened after my hike at Bukit Jambul. Fortunately, I was only driving at 30kph when the accident happened. A kancil from the opposite direction suddenly came into my lane and hit my car before it hit the lorry behind me. It all happened so fast that there was no way I could avoid it. The old driver was in daze, he was blur when we went to his car. It was indeed fortunate that both of us was not traveling at a high speed or else both of us could have died. The kancil and the lorry were badly damage and both vehicles had to be towed away. Thankfully, my old faithful proton was not badly damaged this time but I will definitely send it to the workshop for claims and repair.
To have all these unpleasant accidents happening towards me within such a short period of time is pretty much disturbing. Is it a sign for something that is deemed to happen? Someone once told me that I should get rid of the car since I often get involved in accidents whenever I drive it. He said that my car is a bad luck car. I don’t know. I don’t really believe in these kind of taboos but I really do hope that what happened today is going to be the last of my bad experiences.
Meanwhile, I got really amused at the police station today, the sergeant who attended to me was a really pleasant guy and unlike other policemen, this guy actually keeps miniature cars for us to use, for us to demonstrate the accidents and I think this is a real effective method as explaining accidents to policemen can be very frustrating at times.
The accident could have been fatal if we were all speeding and I guess we should thank God that no one was harmed. Please keep me in prayers that I will continue to remain safe on the road. Meanwhile, I’m very likely to cancel my long awaited trip to KL during MERDEKA. Mom has not been well of late and to make things worst, she had a fall as is pretty much dependent. I cannot leave my parents under such circumstances. Do keep my parents in prayer that they do not have to be overly dependent on others. It frustrates them as well to be dependent on others. Also pray that I have the patience whenever I attend to their needs.
Perhaps I should heed FCW's advice of getting a bigger vehicle and buy a lorry.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I'm a reserved person. Although I talk alot at times but it does not mean I never keep anything to myself. Sometimes I'd just like to let things be and not talk about it at all. I don't see the need to talk about everything anyway. I express myself when the time is right, when I'm excited to talk about it.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Black Monday, Monday blues or whatever you call it is really hitting me hard. Got up on the wrong side of bed this morning and walking into a 70% full class did not help to make anything better.

"Why are your friends absent today?"
"I think they could not wake up, very sleepy lah teacher."
(deep within, I was like 'yeah rite, if I could, I'd love to be in bed too')

To make things worst, my 1pm class students told me that they will not be coming for my class because they need to pass up an assignment due tomorrow.
I can't believe it! They opt to skip my class because it's JUST English? Wait till they get their C in the final exam! No mercy will I show.....well....even if I wanted to I can't because their papers will be marked by other lecturers anyway.


Friday, August 15, 2008

I was buying a facial product and was seeking consultation from the sales girl. She was not concentrating as she explained the product to me. She was obviously distracted. Suddenly, she paused and said

‘you are so cute lah, haiyoh, I cannot tahan’

I was so amused. At 28, a young girl tells me that I’m cute

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Last Wednesday, my ex-classmates told me that they wanted to bring me out for dinner yesterday and I said ok. There was no follow-up after that. I was aware that it was meant to be my birthday treat, CK had made it clear that dinner was on him. But the problem was that he did not update me on the meet up. There was no mention on how, when and where to meet. I waited and waited for them to update me but nothing happened. I was too shy to sms him and ask if he was still taking me out for dinner so I let it be, accepting that he was probably joking.

I waited until 7pm for their sms and there was no news. Out of the blue, another ex-classmate asked if I'd like to have dinner with her and I agreed. At 7.30pm, I received CK's call, asking me if I wanted to meet him at the parking lot outside his house or at Gurney Drive itself.

I was speechless =.=!!! The group was waiting for me!
I felt guilty and stupid. Why did I not just call and ask if he was serious about the dinner? But then again, I'm not the kind of person who goes around asking people
"so are you still taking me out for dinner?"
Last night was a real lousy night for me. I felt so stupid. And to add salt to the wound, the parish priest paid a pastoral visit to my home yesterday evening and I WAS NOT HOME. I was not pre-warned about it. It was not a big deal but I think it would have been good to understand his intention of visiting our home, at least to have a conversation with him.
13Aug08 was a bad Wednesday!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This is my state of mind as I write this post. I cannot find words to fill in the empty post yet my mind is not empty. Perhaps it's too many things in my head and I'm a little tired. Shoot the haze for creating a dull atmosphere!
Meanwhile, thank you all for remembering me as I step closer to 30. I'm amazed that some of you actually know the day I was born and although it was a peaceful and quiet 9th August, I enjoyed myself very much. China let off some firworks in conjunction with my birthday, did you see it?

Friday, August 08, 2008

There is a vacancy in my college for English and Social Science or Bahasa Melayu graduates. If you have any of those degree and has the passion and patient to teach do let me know and I'll pass over your resume to my Head of Department. The college that I teach in is not the best paying college in town but the working environment is reasonably pleasant. It's a good place to begin one's teaching career. Besides, the environment in Penang is extremely pleasant and adaptable. Cost of living is not too high too. For RM 350, you can have a flat all to yourself. For more information, do contact me.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Somethings's wrong with my phone! I could not send smses. Yes I was restless and the first thing that came to my mind was goodness gracious, how was he going to contact me? Yes, I always act cool but then again, it does not mean I'm cool inside, I do worry about petty things like this.
Puteri, Girl in Wonderland, Shit that I am and the Empty Bottle graduates this week. They are now grown graduates who will soon be peers with me under the catogory of young working adults. Watching them graduate reminds me that I'm not getting any younger. As much as I'd love to be there to celebrate their achievements, I can't. Nevertheless, I wish them all the best in their future undertakings and may they cherish all the memories they experienced during their campus days. May those experiences be their source of strength as they step into another phrase of life.
Gosh, I really want to toss them up in the sky and hear them scream....sadly I can't.
What do you do when you have extra money? I have been living on an extremely tight budget for the last two months and suddenly, when I received my salary, I became a spendthrift. I had too much celebration on my mind and just wanted to spend and spend and spend. It is scary to realize that I have the tendency to overspend and that no matter how much I earn, money will never be enough for me and that I'll always want more, more and more.
I guess it's high time for me to end my procrastination and start working on managing my finances or I'll never be able to be financially stable. Time to abstain from certain good things and spend wisely.

Special warm birthday wishes to Ms. Carol PD. May you have a pleasant time today with those who love you and experience God's blessings and love for many more years to come.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Sometimes , with a slip of tongue, I accidentally called him papa. Odd it may seem but he has played a fatherly role in my life throughout my six years in KL. He has been a dear friend and mentor. Someone who believed in me even though I did not believe in myself. He created opportunities for me and trusted me.
He maintains a low profile yet he is inspiring. He has touched the hearts of many and has wiped buckets of their tears away.
Today, he celebrates his birthday. Though I’m nowhere near to celebrate this day with him, I wish him well and that God will continue to bless him with wisdom and strength as he continues to bring joy and hope in the lives of others.

Wishing you Many happy returns for many years to come


I shall not mention you age hehehhehehe

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Dear Ms. Jennifer,
You have been such a great female species, very deadly....hehehe...Thanks for everything and for more good times.

I can't help it. My heart really melted reading those lovely message and receiving those flowers from them. I can't think of other things to blog about. It was indeed a very pleasant and touching surprise.

Monday, August 04, 2008

They call him Popeye in class. He is unique and likes to maintain a low profile. Here’s a journal written by him. I did not edit anything. This journal may sound a little confusing but I like his style. I’m impressed with his honesty though I find this guy a little mysterious.
Who am I?

Who am I? I always wonder if I am who I think I am or am I entirely someone else? Am I really a human? I do not know the answer for sure since I was brought up to believe that I am one. I think that deep inside me lies a very kind person. But sometimes, I am evil and cruel. Does a wicked person like me think of himself as kind and caring? This bothers me since I can’t make up my mind to be good or evil. I always get confused whenever I am faced with the challenge of doing things either the good way or the evil way.
Both fortune and misfortune excites me greatly. As much as I like a good ending to a story, I also enjoy bad endings equally as well. Whether or not I have pity for others is a big question mark. Although every time something terrible occurs on some unfortunate fellow, I feel a deep pity for the situation he has landed himself in, but at the same time, I am pointing my index finger and laughing at his misery. So who am I really? I think I myself is the only one who has the answer.
They say life is beautiful, indeed it is, but when I face trials and turbulences, I have difficulty seeing life to be beautiful.
Some things in life can be changed but not everything can be changed. There are some things that are unchangeable like the attitude of another person. No matter how much effort we put in to help the other person to change for the better, if he or she refuses to accept any suggestion, things will still remain the same.
I am struggling at the moment to love a very stubborn person. My patience is limited and sometimes I just feel like giving up. I have boggled my mind thinking of ways to help the person understand that her action is effecting others but I have yet to succeed. She refuses to listen and is taking everybody’s patience for granted. She knows that we are tolerating her bad habit and do not approve of her behavior yet she makes no effort to make things any easier for us.
Sometimes I feel like being aggressive towards this particular person. I just want to scream and shout and turn violent so that she knows how I feel deep inside. I feel like throwing away all the harmful things that she is consuming but then again, I know that even by me doing so, she is going to look for alternatives to help her sustain this bad habit of hers. I’m at the verge of giving up. I told someone this morning that I might end up needing a psychologist.

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Sunday, August 03, 2008

Each time I go to my office, I will pass by this little Hindu temple at waterfall road. It is an extremely small temple, the size of two parking lots. Though it’s not very big, there is always someone praying in that temple. Not only Indians can be seen there but also Chinese. Religion is such a beautiful thing. It brings people together for a noble cause. Now is the ‘Hungry Ghost’ month and it is a grand event here in Penang. People pray and burn prayer items by the roadsides. Some people find such festivals a nuisance but I don’t. I am always fascinated by the believes of others and it always amazes me to see the kind of faith people have towards their god. Penang is always filled with different religious festivals and to me, this multiple cultural practice is what makes Penang special.