Saturday, January 23, 2010

Am I trying to make a comeback? I'm not too sure. I find the comment by anonymous interesting. I wonder what he / she meant about the newer post being better because I hardly spent time on the things I wrote lately due to many reasons.

It's 6 days before my wedding and I'm not in my highest spirit. Too many things are happening. The wedding is not perfect and I do not expect it to be. I just hope things will run smoothly as planned and nobody does anything silly to ruin the celebration. Honestly, my major concern now is not on the wedding but more on what is happening at home. Dad's condition worsened lately and he is now bed bound. He cannot chew his food anymore and yesterday, my sister who is a nurse inserted the tube through his nose so that we could feed him using the tube.

A few month's ago, a nurse gave me a nose swap to check for H1N1 and it was a very painful experience for me. It was so painful that I got angry at the nurse for inflicting so much pain. Dad's tube insertion yesterday was worse than what I experienced. His tube was 10 times longer than the long cotton bud that the nurse put into my nose and my sister had to make sure that it reached dad's stomach and not the lungs so she actually had to take it in and out of him a few times. The tube remains in dad and I can imagine the discomfort that he is experiencing.

Dad now lies in the living room as it is more conducive for his condition while mum is not caring for her own well-being. I cannot understand her actions of late and this whole situation is giving me and my sisters stress.

It is 6 days to our wedding. The common question that people greet me with is 'Your wedding is drawing near, how do you feel'? Honestly, I am anxious yet am not at peace. Pray for us.