As I write this post, both my handphone and car are not with me. I freed myself from both today by letting Mary use them. Initially, when Mary asked if she could use my handphone for today I said it was not possible. After that, I thought for a while and asked myself how is it not possible. I wondered in what way did I really need the phone. I could not find myself a valid reason so I handed my phone to her and let her use it for today and I am surviving well without it.

I feel slightly insecure but light. I don't have both my car keys and phone weighing my pants like it usually does and I feel good. I am enjoying my day without having to answer any phone calls or replying any sms.

I’ve pasted the grades for their assessment on the wall outside my room and students have been coming over eagerly to check on their grades. I could hear them commenting on it from my room. Suddenly, William walks in my room smiling from ear to ear asking me if the grades are for real. He could not believe that he did so well. Perhaps the additional satisfaction is to know that he did better than his sister for this assessment. I teach his sister too but she is in a different class, supposedly to be the smarter one of the two. The sister is younger by two years but is more domineering compared to him so much so that I thought she was elder.
William asked me if the grades are final and when I answered yes, he said ‘good’ and waved goodbye and left. I can’t help but smile for I know he put in effort in his presentation and he deserves to experience this kind of satisfaction even if it’s just for a while.

I remembered my last encounter with her. She gave me a little ’ang pow’ before I left for Penang. It was the first and also the last time I received an ‘and pow’ from her. Little did I realize it was the last time I saw Aunty alive. If only I knew, I would have stayed back for dinner and spent a little extra time lazing in my sister’s home.
Aunty, which is what we fondly call her is Mary, my sister’s mother-in-law. Among my sisters’ in-laws, I knew aunty best. She saw me grow up and we did have many conversations through the years. She was the unique in-law because she was an Indian and was very traditional in her ways. She wore sari as often as I wear t-shirts and she was pretty much a specialist when it came to Indian cooking (it’s such a pity that I was never determined enough to learn some tricks from her). She loved everything that was Indian. I learned to appreciate buffalo ghee, yogurt with rice, rasem through her cooking. It was through her that I discovered that there is winter in India too. As a teenager, I asked her so many questions that sometimes I irritated her with my opinions.
While all of us were worried sick about my dad’s health, aunty passed on suddenly in my sister’s home without even warning anyone about her departure. She just told uncle that she was feeling uncomfortable and died while resting. Aunty was 74. She was the fitter elder in the family who was still self dependent and capable of looking after others yet she left first, without even saying goodbye. Her departure is very sudden. Perhaps too sudden for her family to accept. Thoughts of ‘I wish I had….’ would certainly linger in the minds of those who loved her.
As I think of aunty’s passing, I think of my own mother. She is less dependent compared to dad. She helps herself in many aspects and is papa’s pillar for strength. Perhaps we need to give her more attention too and not focus on Papa only.

I guess I owe some of you an explanation on my absence. Some of you may be aware that dad has not been to well. His condition has yet to improve; in fact I am not sure if he will recover.
He was down with flu a few weeks ago. Dad has always had weak lungs and coughing is never a rare thing. In fact, it is his daily routine to cough, so we never took his coughing seriously until two weeks ago. I got a little worried when I heard him wheezing. It sounded different from his usual cough. So I took him to the doctor who gave him the breathalyzer. Two days later, he failed to recover and I asked my sister to bring him to GH and she did. The doctors gave him strong doses of medication but it did not help. Last week, before leaving for work, I realized that his condition was not good and both my sister and I decided to get him admitted into the hospital and he has been there since then.
He is diagnosed with pneumonia, which means both his lungs are filled with water or some call it mucous and he has bacteria in his blood too. Pneumonia can be cured but it is often fatal among the aged and children.
He is not dying but he is not well. He cries to go home and sometimes we wonder if we should bring him home. Yesterday he said:’ tomorrow, when you bring my body home……………’ I don’t know how to respond when he speaks like that. He is definitely miserable and unhappy. Doctor said, we might need to insert tubes into his body to feed him and we don’t know if it is the right thing to do. It will not ease his pain and everyone is well aware that he is not enjoying a single bit of it; even pampering him does not ease the pain.
Definitely papa’s admission into the hospital has added on some level of stress in our lives but we are coping pretty fine with it, our only concern now would be his future and also the hospital bills. In moments like this, I guess there is not much one can do but perhaps pray for strength and courage. So do keep us all in prayer that the best decisions are made.

Dear Unfriendly People,

If you do not wish to be friendly, please by all means do not work at the front desk. You spoil people's day with your unfriendly ways.

It is so unpleasent to walk into the office early in the morning and greet someone who makes you feel dumb.

It's been a busy week. I hardly found time to sit and even check my mails. What's so busy about life? Honestly, I don't really know.

My students are presenting this week and sometimes I get disheartened listening to them. I wonder how much effort did they put in. Did they expect me to simply pass them as long as they presented? Half of those who presented did not even know what they were presenting. Rich and interesting topics they had but they wasted the opportunity by copying information from the Internet, using confusing scientific and bombastic words in their presentation. Even an easy topic such as 'The Benefits of Drinking Water' can be difficult to understand because she sourced her points from some science website.

Plagiarism has become such a norm among students that it destroys them. I warned them over and over again to be original and not copy from the Internet but they would not listen. I approached some of them prior the the presentation yet they made no improvement. It is interesting to know that some are not even bothered to make changes even after you give them a second chance. You give the opportunities to re-do before grading them but they just don't care. 'It's ok teacher, you just give the marks, never mind, I will accept what you give me' is what they tell me.

Am I really busy? I don't think so, I think I'm disturbed by the things that I see this week and that is why I'm less hyper.

Irony 2

Sometimes on the road, we meet drivers who are selfish and refuse to give way when driving. They can be real annoying bullies at times. Yesterday, I saw one vehicle harrased another on the road. An old lady was driving a car and the other got impatient, he honked loudly, overtaking her vehicle and showed her his middle finger. And the irony is that on his vehicle, is a sticker that reads:"Proud to be a Christian"

The irony

I was about to buy some kuihs from the sundry shop near my house when I saw a teenage boy change his school uniform to jeans and t-shirt. It was obvious that he was playing truant. Why would someone need to change their school uniform at 8am when classes in school had only just begun?
He walked into the shop and started to buy drinks and cigarette when the shop owner asked him if he wanted some kuihs as well.
Lady: Dik, mau kuih?
Boy: Siapa buat punya?
Lady: Beli punya lah, bukan saya buat.
Boy: Melayu buat ah?
Lady: Tentu lah, mana saya boleh suruh cina buat. Ini Tun Sardon punya la. (Tun Sardon is a Malay area)
Boy: Aunty you jangan tipu I, kalo itu cina buat punya gua tak nak beli. You pun tau, orang cina buat punya kuih tak halal, nanti kalo gua makan, gua payah.
(lady looks at me and starts to get annoyed)
Lady: Aiyo, semua customer Melayu I pun tau ini orang Melayu buat punya.
The boy buys the kuih and walks off puffing his cigarette.
Lady: Yam kung, make so much fuss about my kuih whether halal or not but can skip school and smoke cigarette like nobody’s business. Don’t know what kind of kids parents raise these days. You know some of them walk into my shop and just take and eat what they want but never pay.
I would be annoyed to if I were in her shoes but what I thought was interesting was the irony behind his constant demand that the kuih has to be halal. I wonder if he considered playing truant as halal.
Honestly, it saddens me to see these kids loafing outside the shops every morning on my way to work. I wonder if their parents are aware of what their children are up to. Children look up to their elder siblings or friends as role models and the sight of these students loafing outside the shops is not a pleasant sight, younger children might just be influenced to do the same.

Been tired of late, and I guess I've found the reason why. I'm down with flu. I am miserable at the moment.

It's Monday

I have so much to do

So much things on my head

I'm so confused

What am I doing?

I honestly don't know

DULL