I remembered my last encounter with her. She gave me a little ’ang pow’ before I left for Penang. It was the first and also the last time I received an ‘and pow’ from her. Little did I realize it was the last time I saw Aunty alive. If only I knew, I would have stayed back for dinner and spent a little extra time lazing in my sister’s home.
Aunty, which is what we fondly call her is Mary, my sister’s mother-in-law. Among my sisters’ in-laws, I knew aunty best. She saw me grow up and we did have many conversations through the years. She was the unique in-law because she was an Indian and was very traditional in her ways. She wore sari as often as I wear t-shirts and she was pretty much a specialist when it came to Indian cooking (it’s such a pity that I was never determined enough to learn some tricks from her). She loved everything that was Indian. I learned to appreciate buffalo ghee, yogurt with rice, rasem through her cooking. It was through her that I discovered that there is winter in India too. As a teenager, I asked her so many questions that sometimes I irritated her with my opinions.
While all of us were worried sick about my dad’s health, aunty passed on suddenly in my sister’s home without even warning anyone about her departure. She just told uncle that she was feeling uncomfortable and died while resting. Aunty was 74. She was the fitter elder in the family who was still self dependent and capable of looking after others yet she left first, without even saying goodbye. Her departure is very sudden. Perhaps too sudden for her family to accept. Thoughts of ‘I wish I had….’ would certainly linger in the minds of those who loved her.
As I think of aunty’s passing, I think of my own mother. She is less dependent compared to dad. She helps herself in many aspects and is papa’s pillar for strength. Perhaps we need to give her more attention too and not focus on Papa only.