Tell me if things can get any worst. I have only RM 200 left on myself and my car problem is not settled yet. I am definitely going to be without the car for another week for it takes at least a week to repair the car and for now nothing has been done as there are some paper works still pending. I am uncertain if the car will receive proper treatment for its injuries for I was told that panel mechanics tend to be sloppy with their workmanship. It is not easy to find an honest person in the industry. I would be grateful if God could prove me wrong in these negative thoughts of mine. Before I called the guy to check on the car, I actually prayed that I’ll make the right choice. I guess, I cannot predict anything yet for now until I see the outcome of the repair work. For now, the man has yet to show any signs in his service that is worthy of any compliment.
Getting myself involved in such a mess is enough a misery for me. I added some salt to my wound by loosing RM 50 today in a mysterious way. I don’t know how I lost that money. I withdrew RM 500 from the bank to help my sister settle some bills. When I reached home, I found RM 50 missing. I could not trace back to how I lost the money. RM 50 for me is a large sum and my heart really aches for the lost. I am upset at myself for being careless, for having overlooked simple things like keeping the money properly.
I am frustrated at myself. I know I am partially to be blamed for all that has happened and to be honest, I am very unhappy. It is not a delightful thing that my car is damaged and my money is lost. My heart and emotions aches each time I think or talk about it. I am grateful that people care and are concern but it does not help as well when I’m constantly bombarded with merely suggestions and not solutions. I have to repeat myself over and over again to people who ask and listen to their advices. I’m told that I ‘should’ do this and that.
Me: I lost RM 50
Concern person: What? Why so careless? You never check meh? You should check when you take your money.
My point is, hello? As if I don’t know I am careless? Here I am frustrated with myself over being careless and there you are reminding me that I’m hopeless. It does not help. It only increases my frustrations.
For now, I just don’t want to think and worry over matters that are not helpful. I just want to go on living my ordinary life, bear with the inconveniences until the car is repaired. Perhaps God has His ways of testing me. Teaching me how to be savvy in my expenses. I know if I pull through this difficult moment and turn out fine, I’m going to be a stronger and a wiser (perhaps) person.