Sunday, January 27, 2008

My friend

26th January 08

Since coming back to Penang, everyday has been eventful.
Errrrmmmm….on second thoughts, I think I should say that something new is being experienced each day. Life has been dull actually. For the past 6 years of my life, my everyday life is being surrounded by people. I'm so used to having people around me so much so that sometimes, I used to crave for some privacy. Since coming back to Penang, I find myself feeling lonely most of the time.

It's not that I don't have friends. I do have friends but everyone has their own personal life to live, some even have children already, therefore their social life has also been reduced, it’s time to focus more on the serious things in life. I spend most of my time at home with my parents but our topics are very limited, more towards family issues, nothing much related to personal sharings of experiences or modern living or even faith talk.

Today, I met up with my good and faithful buddy. Oy Leng has been one of my closest friend for more than 15 years already. We come from two different worlds but it’s amazing how Hokey brought us together to become the best of friends. We spent the whole afternoon together and I found it most enjoyable just hanging out with her, doing nothing. Hah. !

There are many friends, some come and some go, not many are going to stay and remain faithful. This is a reality in today's society. If I am going to be stubborn and believe that all the people whom I call friends today are going to keep me close to their heart then I guess I should expect myself to be disappointed in time to come.

I once had a dear friend, we were close, I shared my innermost feelings with her and even revealed some of my secrets. She shared a lot about herself too. During our convocation, we cried and hugged each other because we had to go separate ways. I thought we would still be friends after that. We had handphones and emails to stay in touch but this friend of mine chose to put an end to our friendship. She never replied all my emails and smses, she never answered my phone calls too. I was hurt, I was angry, I told Leslie I did not care for her anymore but the truth is that if she would be in trouble today, my heart would bleed for her. I cannot pretend that I do not know her and just ignore her though I am definitely sure that I would not be that attached towards her anymore.

As I grow older, I learned to accept disappointment in friendships. When friends choose not to be friends anymore, I accept it though it hurts and go on with life. As for friends who remain as friends, I cherish them and include them my life's journey. Friends like Oy Leng are like precious jewels; unique and hard to find. I guess I'm very fortunate that I can't say Oy Leng is my best friend because besides Oy Leng, I have many more friends who remain as precious jewels in my life and I really thank God for each and everyone of them.

2 comments:

Chris Wee SJ said...

Loneliness is not our favourite friend. We simply don't it when it comes. But soon, we will also realise that it is not about having friends that we will not have loneliness. Even with friends, we can be lonely. Unless we can learn to accept and treat loneliness as our friend, we are still far from understanding what friendship is.

Okay, I am getting philosophical here with strange thoughts. But yes, this is one thing I have learnt to grapple with in my life. It's not all perfect but it's simply part of life.

jennvaz said...

Yeah sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me......but i guess I am fortunate in a sense whereby I have not sat down depressingly yet, with nothing to do crying due to loneliness.