24th January 08
Journeying with students for 3 years, I have tolerated with many things. Like what Fr. Chris said in his blog, I never had the heart to scold the students even though there were moments when they deserved a good scolding. I hardly scold people actually except for family members and someone else of whom I shall not mention.
I never expected myself to scold anyone even after I left the Campus Ministry but today, I had to do it. Somebody of whom I've been helping asked me to have sex with him. Though I was shocked, I was sad. I was sad because he did not know how to think.
Where was his self-respect I wondered? I was shocked at how simple his mind was. Was he being naïve? Did he know what sex was all about? To strip oneself naked in front of a person you hardly knew and let the person touch your most precious body, I could never do that.
I was partially angry actually; I failed to teach him how to respect me. I saw myself as a failure because he saw me as a sex object instead of a guide. I tried to be understanding but deep inside, I felt like killing his most inspiring friends.
My 3 years experience as a campus minister was not enough to teach me to handle this situation well. To make things worst, I was the one who was involved. I tried to explain to him why I would never have sex with him but still he could not understand. I had no choice but to cut contacts with him. I am grateful that I now live in Penang and not in KL where he could come and disturb me.
This guy is not uneducated; he is well educated and will be a professional some day. Yet, his approach showed how immature he was. I could not help but wonder what kind of background he came from.
I don't 100% blame him for being what he is. I blame his surrounding, I blame his inspiring friends, I blame the system and the society for having failed to teach people basic human values. As for now, I'm still in shock and am confused.
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5 comments:
Wow. I'm shocked too. Didn't know people would & could ask for sex just like that. So much for love & commitment, huh?
I guess you are not the first person to mention about this. It seems more and more men tend to be direct. Maybe because they have been successful with others.
Grounded here, thanks to this illness, I got to watch this Grey's Anatomy Season 4, and I was wondering if that is what life seems to be for many people. Sex! That seems to be the only way to keep a relationship going. Failing which the relationship ends. On the other hand, it's a one-night stand thing for many. And I guess many of us have fallen to believe that is the only thing to keep us alive.
To this "friend" of yours, hmm... disaster is not far from him.
I guess you are not the first person to mention about this. It seems more and more men tend to be direct. Maybe because they have been successful with others.
Grounded here, thanks to this illness, I got to watch this Grey's Anatomy Season 4, and I was wondering if that is what life seems to be for many people. Sex! That seems to be the only way to keep a relationship going. Failing which the relationship ends. On the other hand, it's a one-night stand thing for many. And I guess many of us have fallen to believe that is the only thing to keep us alive.
To this "friend" of yours, a slap might help. Did I just say that?
I tried to talk to him with much patience but I guess Father is right, he is going into a disaster...heartache actually....but what to do. He choses his destiny.
I'm very shocked too.
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