I never expected motherhood to be this challenging until I became one. Not only it is challenging but it also requires sacrifices. As a mother to an infant, I have to watch over this little one 24 hours a day. Even if I am not watching over him, I have to pay attention to his crying, While attending to other needs, I need to listen and be alert to his calls. Every single thing is about him now.
As I have mentioned in my previous posts, we are one of the many thousands who are having a difficult time recruiting a maid. Our last agent played us out. They took our deposit but made us wait for more than 4 months and still did not find us a maid. We have changed our agent. This new agent seems very promising but has told us that the waiting period is around 3 months. Hence, we are still stranded without a helping hand. As such, there is no one to look after Gregory once I go back to work.
We did consider finding him a babysitter but it is not easy to find a reliable one these days. Besides that, my shift working hours will make it very difficult for Leslie to cope with him alone in the evenings. As a result, Leslie has suggested that I stay at home to look after Greg. Of course this would be the best for the baby but not for me. I actually love my job. Taking further time off from it puts me at the risk of losing my job. Besides that, it also means that I will not have much opportunity to meet people. I'll only be facing Gregory 24 hours a day. I will loose touch with what's happening outside. When i became pregnant, I was prepared for the possible challenging delivery. I was prepared in financial management. I was prepared to have a new addition in the house, an extra mouth to feed. But I did not expect it to be this challenging. To have sleepless nights, to be partially disabled, to be confined to home, to lose my job.