Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The desire for some privacy sometimes seem to be very selfish. But without it, I’m sure I’d be a very stressed up person because I won’t be able to find the freedom to do the things that my heart desires. I find calmness when I have my privacy and when I am calm, I am in control of my own emotions. But then again, sometimes earning my own privacy also means rejecting someone who requests for some of my time and when I do that, the sense of guilt naturally sips into me because I have rejected someone.
It is definitely not easy for one to find privacy in the midst of all the hue hah’s in life and it is definitely even more difficult for one to have some private moments with another because both individuals tend to have different people walking into their lives, seeking for their attention. To make things worst, we live in a era whereby gadgets are so advanced so much so that we are so easily traced or contacted. Walk into the street and you will find people talking to another person over the phone while they are in the company of another person. Talk to someone over the phone and you will realize that he is surrounded people who may be ears dropping the conversation. It is almost impossible for one to be in a place alone with just that someone minus the distractions unless we lock ourselves in a room or bring the person to deep in the jungle where no one else can reach us.
Privacy is something which I long in a relationship. I long for personal moments with that special someone and perhaps that is why I am not a fan of big parties and gatherings because it does not help me have personal moments with another individual. I am myself when I’m alone with another. I am comfortable being natural and honest when I’m not in a crowd. Some people find me romantic because of that but I think I’m just plain selfish or more like anti-social.
I think I ought to be grateful to have friends who are willing to spend these personal moments with me. I may have forced them into it at times but I am still grateful because they have not really rejected me when I asked for their time.

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