I remembered some time last year when I asked a guy friend for some files on his laptop. As he was transferring the files, I accidentally saw a folder. It was filled with pornography. He was shy when the file was exposed and quickly closed the window. A sudden sense of awkwardness sipped within me. I could not look into his eyes. I felt disgusted and angry and since that very day, I felt dry whenever I encountered him, I never looked at him the same way again.
We used to get along pretty well. Though he was not the kind of friend I would seek for heart to heart talk, he was a good companion. Someone whose company I enjoyed when playing games and doing other chores. I found it hard to face him ever since I discovered that he kept those files in his computer. I felt disappointed, I felt insecure.
To be honest, I despise pornography and I have difficulty accepting people who indulge in it. It is not art, it is lust. I feel that people who indulge in pornography has no sense of respect towards the opposite gender. How can one say that that he loves his partner if he finds delight watching another woman naked? How can he say he love his mother, wife and daughter if he finds delight watching the erotic moves of another woman and fantasizes himself in the picture?
To me, a man who indulges in pornography is no different to a man who visits a prostitute. I may be an old school but to me, the body is sacred and is not meant to be exploited and I will never ever give myself to another who cannot respect and appreciate me. To me, one of the most devastating thing in a relationship is to have a partner that finds delight feasting on another person’s flesh, to have no sense of respect towards the sacredness of his own body and also mine. To me, it is equally similar to him having a relationship with another woman and that is something which would hurt me terribly.
Likewise, I would never do such a thing to the man whom I respect.
Why am I writing this? Of late, I discovered that that guy friend whom I mentioned earlier is not the only person whom I know who indulges in it. I am terribly sad and disappointed with my discovery and I ask myself why. Honestly, sometimes I just want to cry. Why pornography when there are so many more better things to enjoy in life? Why behave like an animal when we have brains to think? Are we so hopeless?