Saturday, March 29, 2008

I have a dream

As a teenager, I had a dream. I wanted to be in the hospitality line but I had two obstacles. Firstly, only private colleges offered that course and of all the courses, hospitality was among the most expensive. The second obstacle was that my mom thought it was a dumb idea and she made sure that I was nowhere near to achieving that kind of dream, she even got me a job at the British Council right after I completed my STPM. To her, working in the field of education was way more honorable, stable and lucrative than what hospitality had to offer. Being rebellious and stubborn, I hated what my mom did.

It’s been 10 years since that happened, I am now an adult, a degree holder, old enough to be a mother, old enough to lead my own live without having my mother telling me what I should and should not do. Yet, my dream still remains a dream even though my mom no longer opposes my idea. She has come to realize that it is I who is going to face my own future not her.

With the freedom that I have now as an adult, I am keen to make my dream come true. I am blessed to have many people supporting me in making this dream a reality. Many are excited to know about my plans, they are anxious to see the product, they see this dream as a possible dream for them as well, so much do that they now want to be part of the dream. They self invite themselves into my dream, they tell me what I should and should not do. They begin to set expectations on me, they demand reports from me.

I wonder now, whose dream am I going to be living if I am to continue this way. I want to live my dream and not theirs. I am struggling, I struggle to be firm for my own sake, I don’t want to hurt them. The human heart is fragile and delicate, it must be handled with care. The human memory remembers , once tainted, never forgotten.

4 comments:

giLda Jan said...

jenn!im with you ~ if only i get to do what i want. still in aus?
my "crap" book : http://shhitthappens.blogspot.com

giLda Jan said...

oh btw ~ its me giLda =D

jennvaz said...

Gheee...I did not know you do read my blog hehehe....yes, I'm still in Aus

Anonymous said...

sure jenn ~ fine with me hehe i read cos i wana know wat ur dng. got it from isaac teeheee