11 Feb 08

When you do something that you don’t really like and yet you force yourself to do it because you know you should do it, you struggle through. Sometimes you don’t enjoy what you do because you are not capable enough, you don’t have the right wisdom to handle situations so much so that you become discouraged easily because you don’t see the fruits of your efforts.

What hurts the most is when people who do not see what you are going through simply walks into your life and criticizes with comments that reminds you that you have failed. Discouraging and judgmental stares are already bad enough, what makes it worst is when they make remarks that pierce you through. They say things which they know that are hurtful and negative. They don’t even care about your feelings, what is important to them is that they have sent their message across that they don’t think highly of you.

Such people are the worst ever mentor anyone could ask for. Of course fairytale stories tell us that it is through such remarks that people become motivated to be successful and is what they are today because they wanted so much to prove those negative people wrong. No doubt, some people’s success were driven by such remarks but very often, these unhelpful remarks actually left negative impact in the lives of many. They leave scars and pulls down people’s self –esteem, reminding them that they are useless and good for nothing.

We are gifted beings but negative comments cause us to forget that we are capable of making changes. Comments help us to improve and be better, but when comments are too strong and is overly negative, it discourages.

I don’t mind comments or criticisms, though it hurts but it helps and I recover easily and become motivated to do something about it if it was like this…..
“ Erm….I think it is…….why don’t you consider…….”
“….it is not bad, but…………”
“I disagree with you, I believe……..”

But when people use words like these, I rebel. I become hurt and I wish I would never ever have to meet the person ever again……
“You are just like……useless and good for nothing”
“Such simple things also don’t know how to do, hopeless”
“…….are you stupid or what….”

Someone criticized me with today with the most unhelpful words. I disliked it terribly. Actually I’ve been used to such comments from this particular person, perhaps it also explains why my relationship with this person has never improved all this while. Many times I have tried to change my mindset towards this person, to learn to love and accept this person, but each time I’m bombarded with such remarks, I go back to square one, loosing all the good feelings I had of the person.