Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I wished I had.....



I was abit moody a few days ago, some things had been eating into me. I snapped. All I could think of that particular person was negative. I did not know how to respond to the person. I felt that I was being taken for granted. I had expectations which was not met. And so, I snapped and reacted, I was harsh and I guess I cut the person deep with my words. Each time I sent a harsh message to the other person, I felt good, I felt satisfied and the person did not argue back.

I woke up the very next day, feeling lousy and ashamed. Ashamed of my behaviour, ashamed of my actions. I wish I had not used those hurtful words, I wish I had not been so direct. I'm in pain right now. I have not seen the person since I sent those nasty smses. I tried to apologize but the responses I got has been pretty polite ones. I've done it again. I should not have done it but I did it.

Am I going to be forgiven? I don't know. The point that I've hurt someone's feelings hurt me and the point that I'm not forgiven hurts me deeply too.

(Penang)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hello Jenn, yup.. can relate to this post.. i was driven by emotions, and thus sent and said things which i then regretted. Most of the times, its better to be silent, than to say things unnecessarily and hurt others & yourself. ;)

jennvaz said...

I guess many of us experience this.....the question would be, how do we cope with it. I think sometimes it's necessary to let people know how we feel, of course we need to do it tagfully, without being nasty, hurting people's feelings