I’ll be 30 soon. Not this year but soon enough. Yet, I am not able to see a stable future coming my way yet. I have a vision of what it may be like but I’m not sure if it is the ideal choice. It is easy to dream and to have ideals but it is definitely tough when it’s time to make decisions that will create impacts in our lives. There are many decisions for me to make this year and I am so afraid that I’ll make the wrong moves. I’m afraid of making decisions that I might regret.
Perhaps I am so afraid because I have little faith in myself. I fear that I am not going to be able to stand on my own if promises and assurances that have been made to me fail to be like how it is suppose to be. Someone asked me why did I have so little faith in my own capability and that question struck me to realize that I was not confident of myself. Maybe I have not tried hard and worked hard enough so much so that I see myself lacking in the many things that others have. At the moment, I feel stranded. I have so much to work on and I do not know where to start.
Maybe my problem is that I focus too much of the ’I’ and have forgotten to put ’Him’ into the picture from time to time. It is definitely way easier to be a motivator to others.