I had a lovely time at NAAB restaurant at Bukit Bintang with four of Leslie's Iranian friends. They had requested that we as the newly wedded husband and wife have dinner with them. According to them, it was a culture for family members to treat the newly wedded to a dinner and they decided to do the same to us. I thought it was a very thoughtful act. Besides a photo frame, they also gave us (me especially) a box of nuts. They stressed to Leslie that it was for his wife and not so much for him. I was impressed as Leslie only mentioned to them once two years ago that I loved nuts and they remembered till today.

I've never sat at the same table with Iranians before and it was really pleasant. I learnt about the Iranian culture as well as a little bit of the world history and of course the Iranian dishes were delicious. They were cooked using my favourite ingredients namely, lamb, herbs and spices, olive, olive oil, yogurt and nuts. It was a lovely evening indeed and I was a contented lady.

I got a message from a friend yesterday stating that her mom who was suffering from stomach cancer was very much in pain. I did not manage to reply her message. This morning, I got another message from her stating that her mum has passed on.

Being aware of her mother's condition, I had anticipated for this day to come. I'm sure my friend did too as she did share with me about her mother requesting to have her ashes placed in a certain place prior to her passing. Yet despite knowing all these, I am not sure of how I should console her. .......

I am anxious. I've been looking forward for this day to come. Tomorrow, I'm going to KL again, to meet my husband. I'm happy to be meeting him again after two weeks. It's interesting that I tend to miss him more after we got married though our daily routine is still very much the same as how it used to be.
Prior to the wedding, after we got registered through the civil registration, I found it very odd to tell people that Leslie is my husband but somehow right after the wedding mass, I had no problem addressing him as my husband. I wonder what made that change within me.
I'm going to KL, catching the earliest bus I can get after work. I look forward for tomorrow to come.

Last weekend, a friend broke the news to me that she broke up with her boyfriend of more than 4 years. I was taken aback. I do not really know how she feels about it as we communicated through sms but I am sure it's a heartbreaking situation for her. I did not try to probe further because we were only communicating through sms. I have always preferred to talk over such sensitive matters face to face as I think facial expressions are very important in such conversations. She volunteered further details by telling me that he had another girlfriend.

It felt terrible to know that this friend of mine is experiencing a breakup in a relationship. She is such a nice person, helpful, caring, capable and not materialistic. What quality did the other girl have that my friend did not have to the extend that he was willing to give up his long term relationship with my friend for another girl? I just could not understand.

When I shared the news with Leslie, ' aren't we both lucky people?' was his reply. I agree with him. I am lucky that despite the many weakness that I have and the imperfections of the family that I belong to, he still chose me as his wife.

What is fascinating about weddings is that it only happens once in your life and there is no practice or second chance in making it great. Despite all the preparation that is done, the outcome sometimes can be most unexpected.



I have to admit that I screwed up a little here and there prior and during the wedding and thus the wedding became less perfect and there are some things that I wished I had done during the wedding in order to make it perfect. Yet, despite the little faults that happened during the wedding, I have to admit and say that I was a happy bride and I could not ask others for more in order to make our wedding day special.



I am truly touched by the efforts made by many people. I thank my sisters for giving all they can give, I thank my friends for travelling the distance and providing all sorts of assistance, I thank all friends and also friends of my family, not forgetting relatives for contributing their time, generous 'Ang Pows' and for coming. I understood well that I was loved by many on my wedding day and I really do not know how to show my sincere appreciation to each and everyone of them. My maid of honor was the best MC I could ever ask for at my wedding dinner and so were the friends who sang at the dinner. Indeed we are a blessed couple and I pray that we can be life giving to others like how many of you were to us at our wedding.

Love
Leslie and Jenn

It's been 24 days since I became Mrs. Than and it feels good to be married. Things between the two of us have been smooth so far and to be honest, I did not expect it to be this great. Somehow, life after marriage seems to be even better than how it used to be before the wedding. What lies ahead is surely going to be interesting and I pray that we will always find joy in this marriage.

Am I trying to make a comeback? I'm not too sure. I find the comment by anonymous interesting. I wonder what he / she meant about the newer post being better because I hardly spent time on the things I wrote lately due to many reasons.

It's 6 days before my wedding and I'm not in my highest spirit. Too many things are happening. The wedding is not perfect and I do not expect it to be. I just hope things will run smoothly as planned and nobody does anything silly to ruin the celebration. Honestly, my major concern now is not on the wedding but more on what is happening at home. Dad's condition worsened lately and he is now bed bound. He cannot chew his food anymore and yesterday, my sister who is a nurse inserted the tube through his nose so that we could feed him using the tube.

A few month's ago, a nurse gave me a nose swap to check for H1N1 and it was a very painful experience for me. It was so painful that I got angry at the nurse for inflicting so much pain. Dad's tube insertion yesterday was worse than what I experienced. His tube was 10 times longer than the long cotton bud that the nurse put into my nose and my sister had to make sure that it reached dad's stomach and not the lungs so she actually had to take it in and out of him a few times. The tube remains in dad and I can imagine the discomfort that he is experiencing.

Dad now lies in the living room as it is more conducive for his condition while mum is not caring for her own well-being. I cannot understand her actions of late and this whole situation is giving me and my sisters stress.

It is 6 days to our wedding. The common question that people greet me with is 'Your wedding is drawing near, how do you feel'? Honestly, I am anxious yet am not at peace. Pray for us.

My student: Teacher, I had stomach edge (ache) yesterday, I went to the doctor but I did not know how to explain the pain. So I told her that my shit cannot come out. Can or not teacher? Right or not ah?

Myself: You mean constipation? You feel like you need to pass motion but it won't come out?

My student: Teacher, what is pass motion? I want to pangsai then my shit cannot come out, like that lo....

Myself: It is called constipation.



Next Class
Student: Teacher, I saw your body errr.....wah very sexy lo....
Myself: ??????I don't get what you mean.
Student: Yesterday I went to watch Jennifer's body. I like it so much teacher....
Myself: Owh, ok but that is not MY body, so how can you say you saw MY body?
Student: TEACHER WHY YOU WEAR SLIPPER TO CLASS!????
Myself: Speechless...
(Due to the leg pain I've been wearing socks and slippers in the staff room and I forgot to change) I got to go up and take my things.
Student: Take your time ah....we will wait for you ohhhh......


Sometimes, a little humor is needed to make life interesting. Have a nice day!

Since the wedding is drawing near, I decided to inform some friends ahead of time so that they would be able to block the dates and make it for the wedding. My heart broke when I read this reply from a friend.

"Hi, congratulations to you! I'm not sure if I can make it because I'm now looking after my mom. She met with an accident last December"

That message surprised me. I did not know that her mom had an accident and was actually bedridden. She can't talk or eat. Suddenly I felt grateful that despite the aches and pains that I have on my body, at least I am still able to do many things and still enjoy life despite the pain.

My concern is now real. I received my blood test result today and it is RHEUMATOID FACTOR POSITIVE. I have been referred to see a specialist. I'm upset. I remember Auntie Samson and I have always felt sad for her. For so many years, her husband and children had to lift her from the car and sit her near the church entrance because of Arthritis.
I'm not even married yet and I already have it. Why? I just cannot comprehend. Is this a wake up call for me to do the things I have failed to do all these years? That I should not take my life for granted anymore?

It's not gout! My blood tests results are out and my health condition is clean. So what's the problem? I really have no clue. 'Yau Kwai' told me that it could be because I lack certain nutrients in my body. I still have the joint pains. The medical officer gave me some vitamins and told me to see him again in 1 week if the pain is still there.....anyway, I'm glad it is not gout yet at the same time I hope it's not something worst.

Our newspaper man lost his home early this week when bulldozers came to clear Kampung Buah Pala. It is actually hard to believe that Kampung Buah Pala will never be what it used to be again. In fact, I wonder if Jalan Kaki Bukit too will still be there in years to come. Bukit Glugor will be different with that village gone.

Jalan Kaki Bukit is the steepest road in Bukit Glugor, it is almost impossible to cycle up the road as it is too steep. I always had a sense of achievement each time I successfully cycled up to the top of the road without having to push my bicycle. Going up and down that hill was like an adventure itself. It was dangerous yet thrilling. I will never ever be able to do that again because Jalan Kaki Bukit has been sealed by the developer who will soon build Oasis- Condominiums on that piece of land. I'm going to miss the cows and goats that moo as they pass by my house and the smell of their dungs too. Dogs in our area will not have dungs to roll onto and cows to bark at anymore.

It is so sad to see the change take place in our housing area IN THE NAME OF DEVELOPMENT. For who is the development for? I really wonder. How could that piece of land be sold when there were so many families dwelling in it? Machines are going to come in. Our roads are going to be damaged, there's going to be pollution in the air in our once peaceful little housing area of Bukit Glugor.......

Being the youngest in the family, I never had anyone younger in my family to care for. Therefore I sometimes treated my younger friends like brothers / sisters. Understanding a student's way of life, prompted me to spend on these friends whenever I felt I should. Some learnt to give in return in their very own way. "Yau Kwai" was one of those who often gave in return.

I call her "Yau Kwai" because that was what she used to address herself when talking to me. She was different from the rest. She had a lot to give and was often generous at least to me. I liked her, I was fond of her. To me, she was like a little sister. Automatically, I played the protective role in our friendship even though I did not have to and sometimes I go overboard, advising her when she did not need to be advised.

This weekend, she came over to spend a day with me. We had meals together and she paid for my meal for the very first time. Her reason was that she had received her paycheck and she wanted to give a treat. Today, 'Yau Kwai' is no more a student. She has graduated and is a government officer. In fact, she is earning more than I am. After she left, I realized that I should stop treating like a student. I should stop my protective behavior and respect her as an adult. It's going to take me a while to make that change but I should.

I'm done marking! I am so glad that I'm through with it.The past 8 days were terrible. I was tempted to fail many of them but at the same time I knew that making them repeat the paper would not help them to improve their English either. The results proved that we the educators were not miracle workers and that the fourteen weeks we had with them was not enough.

As I marked the written work, I noticed that students were very much alike in their thoughts. The storyline of their essays were very predictable. Where did they get their ideas from? The sample essays sold in the market? I understand that many have poor command in their language but I am disturbed that many of them lacked in ideas. They did not have logical reasoning in their points for essay.

I remembered myself sharing with my students on our Deputy Prime Minister- Tan Sri Dato' Haji Muhyiddin bin Mohd. Yassin once and my students asked me who was that. Surprised by that question I asked my students from other classes if they knew who this man was and only a handful of them told me that he is the Deputy Prime Minister. How could tertiary students not know who their Deputy Prime Minister was? In fact, what do they actually know?

I'm disturbed by it and at the same time keen to create some awareness within them....where do I begin?.....how to make them think and at the same time enjoy it?

I've been having massive pain on both my feet and sometimes my fingers. I believe the injury on both my hands and feet are similar yet I feel the pain more on my feet because I stand on my feet and my whole body weight is on it.

The pain irritates me as I have difficulty wearing shoes.I can hardly try on a new pair of shoes due to the pain. I can't walk fast and even struggle as I walk down the staircase. My movements are restricted and I am frustrated.

Today, I finally found time to go to the government hospital for a check up. The medical officer suspected that I have Gout and has requested that I go for a blood test.

How can I not be worried? I'm not yet even thirty, not yet even married, I don't even have any children yet and I have a great life ahead of me to enjoy and cherish. I can't afford to be mentally unfit. I still want my legs to carry me wherever i go. To be able to run, jump, walk and dance whenever I feel like it. I still want to cook and not feel any pain as I do the things I enjoy.

After spending so much time on the photo session it was natural that we felt anxious over the outcome. We headed to 'Blissful' again the following day to have a look at the outcome as well as to select the 20 photos for the album. It was a difficult task.

The photos turned out to be not too bad but we did not look perfect all the time. I was not fully pleased with the outdoor shots. I firmly believe that the photos could have been better if Chris and Ah Khoon had done more. Perhaps outdoor photo shoot is just not Ah Khoon's cup of tea as the studio shots looked so much better than the outdoor shots. I liked a few shots but sadly we could not have all the shots we really liked as we could only choose 20 pictures and we had to fulfill certain criteria. It was really painful to press the delete button sometimes but I guess we had to do it or else we would have to pay more.

So......our photo shoot is settled. Now we have to wait for the final outcome. Meanwhile, it's time to worry about the other matters, to continue planning for the wedding.

It has been a wet week. I had almost given up hope that there was going to be any sunshine on Saturday. I was however wrong. God was kind enough to actually give us some sunshine, enough for us to have a few outdoor photo shots.

Leslie and I arrived at 'Blissful' at 9am. We were the first to reach. In fact, the bridal house was not yet even open. Mei Ling the make up artist greeted us and briefed us about the whole process of the photo shoot. We had a little discussion prior to that so that she would understand our style and liking. After the discussion, we were brought to the make up room where we were transformed. I actually did not really like what I saw but I believed Mei Ling knew best on what was suitable for me and at 10.30 a.m, the first setback took place when Mei Ling brought in a gown for me to change into. My gown which was the first out of five was not altered as promised and it did not fit me perfectly. The tailor had to make last minute modification on my dress and obviously, the last minute work on the gown was not perfect.

Nevertheless, we left for Botanical Gardens at 11 a.m for the first photo shoot. We had requested to have our photos taken by the beach but Ah Khoon our photographer said that the beach was not the best place due to the weather, the sky was not blue enough for a nice scenery. It was probably a blessing in disguise as Ah Khoon brought us to the seaside after that. Therefore we had more variety for our outdoor background instead of only one as stated in our package.

We knew that photo sessions would be taxing but we never expected it to be so time consuming. At 1pm, we were only done with our first gown and we had four more to go. I got my second shock at 1 p.m too. The second gown that Mei Ling brought in was not what I chose! I began to feel slightly irritated. How could they make such a big mistake? It was ridiculous for a professional bridal shop to make such a blunder. Fortunately, Mei Ling was quick in finding a solution. Damage was already done yet the make up artist and the photographer did their best to make the best out of what was lacking.

The photo session finally ended at 7p.m. We were exhausted but happy despite the setbacks. Thanks to Ah Khoon the photographer, Chris and Mei Ling the make up artists, I would say we did enjoy ourselves. There were lots of laughter together with a lot of first time experiences. During the photo shoot, I was bitten by ants and Leslie stepped on my fingers, I screamed in pain and and had tears rolling down my cheeks thanks to those fake eyelashes yet I would say it was an enjoyable experience and I have to admit that the session brought both Leslie and myself even closer. I had never looked into his eyes so many times in my whole entire life!

If one can afford it, I think the bridal photo shoot is definitely worth the experience. We actually opted for the cheaper package with only one album and I think that is good enough. Bridal photo shoots should be fun and exciting. I feel it should not be overly done to the extend of tiring oneself.

I have lost a piece of document which is very important. I cannot imagine if it fell into the wrong hands. The damage will not be 'that' bad but it would not be nice for others to see as the content is confidential. I'm disturbed that I can't find it and my emotion is printed on my face. I don't look happy but what can I do? I do not know where to search anymore. I've gone through all the possible places.....sigh...is all I can say.

I felt exhausted today. It was a feeling of being 'fed up'. I felt angry yet I knew that I should not be. Those who attended the classes were good students and I should not reveal my unhappiness to them after all they did nothing to make me unhappy. It would unfair for me to be emotional just because I was upset with those who were often absent and failed to submit their assignments.

I am trying to control my temper. It is indeed a challenge. Sometimes I ask myself why should I allow those students to affect me when there are so many students out there whom I should pay attention to. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong.

I spent today with mum. I picked her up from the nursing home early in the morning and we left for mass. It was just the two of us because dad vomitted and it was better for him to remain home. It was actually my first time attending mass with mommy alone. It actually felt nice though it was a little bit troublesome as mum was a little slow in her movements as she is learning to walk again after being sick for so long.

We went home and I prepared lunch while both mum and dad waited to be served. Mum was glad to be home. She had looked forward to this day ever since I suggested to her that we should go to mass together last Wednesday. She disliked the nursing home but we had no choice as I had to work while dad had already gotten Sokha's hands full and she was not capable of caring for two old folks alone at home. Mum has been counting the days for her two months stay at the nursing home to end. She craves for home and I try my best to bring her home whenever I'm not working. So I guess today was indeed a rewarding day for mum and I'm glad to have made her happy.

Ever since I moved home, I feel as though my bonding with my mother has strengthened. I tend to think of her more often and as well as wonder about her feelings and thoughts. I cannot detect what changed my feelings towards my mom but I'm glad it is happening.

I used to envy friends who did not have to care for their parents and were able live their dreams and do whatever they wanted because they did not have such responsibilities. However, i feel differently now. I do still feel frustrated at times that I have to consider about my parent's needs each time I plan to make a major decision but at the same time, I am also grateful that I still have them in my life, to be able to be still experience their presence and company. To watch them grow old and care for them. It is not easy but I thank God for the opportunity.