Birds!

Look at this little bird, cute and beautiful hor?

Wait, do not be deceived by its innocent look, it attacked me this afternoon, not once, but a few times, whilst I was having lunch in the park. It attempted to snatch my lunch away

Here it is, preying on their next victim, trying to make its move on its next victim. Boy did that poor girl scream

Yes, they manage to snatch someone’s food, now here’s the fight for the bigger portion. The winner will get the bigger share. Survival of the fittest they call it.

Will daddy be the next victim?

Who's been naughty and who's being nice?

The Election is a few days away and boy, the mailboxes are overflowing with mails telling us what to do for the coming elections. Of the mails, 99% of them are filled with reasons to why we should not vote for Barisan National.

Those mails are filled with the wrong doings of our ruling party politicians, filled with all their mistakes and ugly sights. I was just wondering, don't people have a better way of campaigning, other than polluting the reputation of their opponents? If you are good and have a good profile, you don't need to pollute another person's reputation, unless we are no better, so we start to compare on who is worst, who is more of a devil in disguise.

It's like saying, I know I am not good enough but look at them, they are even worst and if you vote for me, I will be nicer towards you though i don't guarantee things to be perfect.

Just a thought.

The Nanny

Remember her? I used to be so dissapointed when she came on air. I found her boring and annoying. The Nanny was the sitcom I would only watch if there was nothing else better on TV. I watched her again today, she was hilarious and so down to earth, guess I'm beginning to love her. Perhaps it's because I've grown up hahahaa, her jokes did not makes sense when I was a kid but i can relate to it now. Good ol' Nanny

Web Counter

The problem with Jenn is that she lacks of discipline. She has no patience to follow instructions and always ends up doing things her own way. She had a taste of it’s consequences today, fortunately it was not too painful to bear.

I woke up at 7a.m so that my sister could drop me off at St. Vincent’s hospital (where Bob is doing his research) before going to work. I was ready for my big day out, I had planned to explore The Rocks today, The Rocks is one of the oldest part of Sydney, in fact it was where the city started off. And so, from St. Vincent’s I began my journey, walking towards the city. I passed Oxford Street, walked through Hyde Park (so far so good, I was still following the map) until I saw this nice old building from afar, I diverted my route and headed towards that old building. I found the building, it was an old Presbyterian Church. Had a good look at it and continued my journey. I walked and walked and walked and got lost. I could not find my location on the map. Trying to be smart, I followed my instincts and continued to walk until I realized that I was moving further away from my destination. Still I did not bother to sit down and study my map, again I followed my own instincts until I began to feel a little tired, I gave up. Got myself a nice seat under the tree and checked on the map, I hated that moment, my location was not in the map and I really had to figure out where I was and how was I to get out of the place. When I got my directions clear and continued my journey, I got distracted again, I saw The Rocks but I chose to bypass it because I saw something even more attractive right in front of me. It was the route that led to the Sydney Harbor Bridge.

Yes I walked on the bridge, all the way to the north of Sydney and because I wanted to save some money, I walked all the way back instead of taking the bus or ferry. It was fruitful though, I enjoyed myself. I had a good view of the Harbor throughout my journey and of course I manage to get some satisfying photo shots of the Opera House. It was a clear blue sunny day and everything was blue, bright and clear. My skin burned and gosh I was dehydrated after the walk. My tongue craved for something sweet and I treated myself with a Strawberry Gelato. It was heavenly. I found The Rocks but with the hot sun penetrating into my skin, I lost my desire to explore. I decided to save my adventure at The Rocks for another day.

(Top Right: The Rocks; Top left: The Harbor Bridge from afar; on the harbor bridge)

Ms. Teoh asked " Have your jaws dropped on the floor yet?"

I replied, "not really, but my eyes are real busy, no time to look elsewhere"

I met Ms Teoh for the first time yesterday, she is somehow related to me and is currently working in Leeds, she and her mum got in touch with us and we had lunch together. It was indeed lovely to spend time togather. Thought we were strangers initially, we became friends and guess what, I've been invited to visit Leeds, but of course, I need to earn some money first hahaha.

We went to the Mardi Gras Parade. First time for all of us and ghee.....it was like a whole new world for me. Mardi Gras is a gay and lesbian parade held annually in Sydney as a sign of support to the gay and lesbian community. It's a parade with street party, a grand celebration indeed it was though to be honest, it's not my kind of party.

Here's some pictures from the parade which I curi from the internet, my camera batteries went flat before I could take any good shots. There were some really wild sceans but I can't find a good picture to show. Sorry lah.

Movies

Why do movies make us cry? Perhaps it’s because the story has touched the soft spot within us, perhaps we sympathize with the characters in the movie, perhaps we were overwhelmed by the movie or perhaps the movie was a reflection of our own personal life?

I watched “Water” this afternoon and the ending of the movie made me cry. Many would have thought that the main character in the movie was Chuyia the little widow, but to me, the silent Shakuntala was the main character. The role that this supporting actress led gave the perfect ending to the movie.

The culture that we come from somehow influences our religious practices, our faith life becomes complicated when we mix culture and religion together and consider it as one. What do we do when culture and our inner voice contradicts? Do we trust the inner voice enough for evolution to take place?

A great movie to watch when you have enough time to spare.

Hamburger?

My brother-in-law and my sister has gone to the Olympic Stadium to watch Santana live and I'm home alone. I missed Santana as the tickets were sold out and the only seats left were the ones behind pillars. Nevermind.

The weather is cold today and last night was horrible, I could not sleep. Probably because I had burger for dinner and it took time for my stomach to digest it, my stomach made so much noise all night long and it was terribly cold, my toes were like ice cubes.

Since I could not sleep, I dreamt, dreamt of my own food outlet. My homemade burger was a success and I started to dream about having my own burger outlet. It's location, it's setting and the menu. Well, the dream seems to be very possible, but will it sell? That's the question.

Introducing, burger patties made by Jenn's fingers (top left), to be eaten with onions and tomatoes (right pic) and this is the final outcome. How much will you pay for it? hehhehehe

Shall I dream on?

Just for you.....

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.The Doctor told him there is a simple, informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss."Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's fordinner?"No response.So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"Still no response.Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"Again he gets no response.So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"(I just love this).....

"Alan , for the FIFTH #$#%@ time, CHICKEN!"

Sometimes we know there is a problem but we don't know that we ARE the problem. We tend to assume (ass-u-me) that the other party IS the problem!

I am Malaysian......

Here's an example of job advert in an Austrialian newspaper:

Macquarie University
Department of Chemistry and Biomolecular Sciences
Research Assistant (Full Time- Fixed Term)

This position is available on a full time period of three years and may subject to probationary conditions. Selection criteria must be addressed in the application

Package: From $57 199 p.a including base salary, 17 % employer's superannuation and annual leave loading.

(Pardon me but I think an Research Asistant here is paid the most RM 24 000 p.a?)

I browsed through the papers and realized that ghee.....we are not well paid at all in Malaysia. So much about our economy being good, how true is it i really wonder. Before I left for Austrialia, the exchange rate was Aus$1 - RM 2.98. Yes, I'm superbly poor over here, my RM 2000 is only worth like Aus$ 650, equivilent to 2 weeks of salary here for toilet cleaners. Yes, even toilet cleaners here are well paid and everyone takes pride for what they do. It's not a shameful thing to sweep the streets or collect garbage here, people are respected for what they do and their salary tells it well.

Family time is very much of importance here, take a walk down to the park in the evenings and you will see parents walking or cycling with their kids at 5.30pm, everyone goes home after 5pm. It is somehow a sin to be a workaholic. Quality time are meant to be spent with loved ones, doing the things that you love and not to be a slave to your job.

I watched Hilary and Obama campaigning for themselves on TV and they are surely working very hard. People have high expectations on the leaders they choose, people don't buy empty promises, they want results and that's what these politicians have to do. Get their team to work on the promises. Voters expect to be served by their politicians and they make sure that they being served all the time, and not only during the elections. Can our society do that?

It's very ironic actually that Malaysia is known to be a developed nation and yet when we go to other developed nations like Singapore, we are not on par with them......something to ponder upon.....actually it frustrates me.

8th March

It's a very exciting time in Malaysia, the elections are happening soon. Of late, alot of comical statements have been made by supposedly prominent individuals. I could not help but to laugh at it. Sometimes, I wonder if people actually think before they speak especially when the whole nation is listening to them.

Of late, the marginalized are enjoying lots of attention from certain parties, all of a sudden, all the dreams are becoming a reality, will these dreams last? Or will they expire after the elections?

8th of March is when our elections will be held, it is also the time when University students are busy with their exams and assignments. Having been a student myself, and having journeyed with them for the past three years, I believe a great majority of them will not be bothered to go back to vote in the elections especially for those from East Malaysia (I don't really blame them actually). Some are not even aware of how important is it for them to vote while some do not believe that they can make any difference with just one vote. Perhaps that is why our election results are so predictable.

I am here in Australia, frustrated that I'm not going to be around to vote, if I could vote from here, i definitely would. Even if the person i voted for does not win, at least i could narrow the gap. Very often, we complain, but when opportunities come for us the make changes, we just let it go, we find all the reasons in the world to justify our "tidak apa" attitude and allow things to happen the way we don't want it to be. Very often we complain that we do not have the freedom to voice out our opinions whilst students fear the AUKU and choose to suck in all their frustrations and not utter a single word. The election is the time for us to express ourselves, to let it all out by casting our votes either to support leaders who have helped us a great deal or to teach lousy politicians a good lesson and to humble them.

So if you don't have an exam, and you live in Peninsular Malaysia, and money is not a problem to you, do yourself a favour, travel home and cast your vote. If you are from Borneo and have a little extra to spend, try to book a cheap flight back, you still have at least 7 days at hand. It'll also be a good time to meet up with neighbour and friends and of course to spend some precious moments with your family.

Alone in Sydney

26th Feb Tues

Today was the first day I explored Sydney on my own. I started my journey at 8.30am. My sister dropped me off somewhere near Paddington and I walked through Oxford Street into Hyde Park where St. Mary’s Cathedral was located. The Cathedral was awesome, unfortunately, it was under restoration (probably to prepare for the World Youth Day) and a pretty big portion of the Cathedral was not accessible. Nevertheless, I spent half an hour there, telling myself that I shall return to attend a daily mass there the next time I dropped by in town.

After I left the Cathedral, I decided to be more adventurous, I kept my guidebook in my bag and let my legs carry me according to my instincts. Surprise, surprise, I ended up in the Art Gallery of New South Wales, one of the least likely place I would have gone to. I know nothing about arts and it’s value but I walked in anyway since it was right in front of me.
It was indeed an educational exposure for me. To be honest, I doubted myself when I went in. I thought I would not have stayed long inside. I guess I underestimated the gallery, I stayed there for 3hours covering only the ground floor. Yes I was naïve of artworks, I am not a person who knew how good an art piece is worth. I am not an art critic but today, the pictures spoke to me, it spoke to me like literary works, like poems and stories. Every artwork had a story to tell and most of the time, it spoke a lot about the artist. It was an expression of themselves through their works with great enthusiasm and effort with patience and most of all, passion.

Some of the works at the gallery were more than five hundred years old, I was fortunate enough to participate in a guided tour that helped me to reason out those works. I learned about history and the different era’s and civilizations. It was indeed a study session for me. I left after three hours because my brains could not concentrate anymore.

Our tour guide was wonderful, she was just a volunteer at the gallery and she explained things in great detail, one thing I was sure was that she was passionate about art, she knew about the artists and their works, it was obvious that she loved the works dearly. Somehow, I wondered if our national art gallery was like this and if it’s staff would be as passionate as the volunteer guide was. I guess art is something the Australians see as important. The gallery was crowded, there were school children from various schools there too. Every child had a notebook in their hand with assignments to complete. I was impressed.

I was exhausted. I left the gallery and walked along the road, ended up outside the botanical gardens. I walked through the gardens and ended up outside the Sydney Opera House, I walked along the Sydney Harbor to find myself some lunch. It had been such a long time since I walked that much. The distance I walked was overwhelming, it was like walking from the University Malaya KL gate to St. John’s Cathedral at Bukit Nanas.

It was indeed an interesting day for me. I discovered a lot but I was not fully contented. I felt alone, I am a foreigner in a foreign land full of foreign faces. Nobody knows me, nobody recognizes me. I have no friends here, no one to share my excitement with. Will I survive? I guess I could, it will take some time though. Thank God I have my sister and bro-in-law to go home to, I am not that alone after all.

Lust, caution

24 Feb 08 (Sun)

I watched Ang Lee’s “Lust, Caution” today in the cinema. It was uncensored and for the first time in my 27 years of life, I saw erotic scenes. In many instances, I was left speechless and shocked.

I thought the movie was good. It was a movie that left me to think. Chia Chi thought she was doing the right thing, she thought she and her friends were fighting for the right cause, she thought it was heroic to sacrifice her virginity, did she do the right thing? Those passionate love making scenes, was love even present during those moments, did lust lead to love?

The cinema outing was indeed an interesting experience. None of the movies shown in the cinema was screened in the Malaysian theaters. To be honest, I’ve not been too excited with most movies shown in the Malaysian cinemas, but over here, I seem to want to watch every movie. My next movie here would probably be “The Kite Runner”. My bro-in-law is keen to watch it and so am I.

Other than the selection of movies, the difference between the cinemas are that they use the free seating concept, who comes first, gets the best seat and you know, wine in glass is included in the drinks menu here. Of course I did not drink it lah.

The great Cunard Ships

24 Feb 08

Since I arrived at Sydney, people have been talking about it. The news, has been constantly reporting about it, there have been documentaries about it. Today is a historical day for the people of Sydney. Thousands of people gathered at the Sydney Harbor to bid farewell to “QE2” the ship. Having served the wealthy cruise travelers for 40 years, “QE2” docked at the Sydney Harbor for the very last time before leaving to stay permanently in Dubai as a luxurious hotel.

QE2

Queen Victoria Upclose

To make it even more significant, its sister ship, “Queen Victoria” was also present at the Harbor. At 6pm today, the two Cunard Queens met in Sydney Harbour both ships crossed each other right in front of the Sydney Opera House. “Queen Victoria” is a much newer ship. At 90,000 tonnes, Queen Victoria is equivalent in tonnage to 80 Manly ferries, 160 fully laden Airbus A-380 super jumbos, or 825 blue whales. Queen Victoria is almost 20,000 tonnes heavier than the QE2. Again, it’s the first time I came so close to a ship this big. (I know, I’m like very “sam pat”) Queen Victoria can accommodate 2000 passengers and 1018 crew. QE2 has room for 1778 passengers and 1016 crew. Cunard is the shipmaker for Titanice by the way. Amazing hor?


Why Sydney Harbor some may ask, well, the ocean is deep enough for a ship this big to dock. Though what happened today was a historical event, I am not overly excited that I was there. I am glad that I was there, but I would not cry if I had missed it hahaha. Yet, I am grateful to be at the right place, at the right time.

At Pancakes on the Rocks

Whats so great about Pancakes on The Rocks? I really don't know, people que to get in there. It's been the Golden Award Winner for the best informal dining restaurant 2003 - 2006 and it's open 24hours aday. I tried it's savoury pancakes, hmmm....i was not impressed but I shall not judge it yet until i try their dessert pancakes for i believe pancakes goes best with syrup or honey or jam.

As we had our lunch today, next to our table sat five people. Of the five, there were two young girls probably in their late teens, with three down syndrome kids. The down syndrome teenagers were a handful to handle. Two of them were throwing tantrums while the other was becoming agitated. The two girls were trying their best to calm the other down whilst trying to discipline the other two. I was certain that I did not want to be in the shoes of the two girls for I would definitely not have the patience that they had.

Though the noise made by the down syndrome teenagers were not very pleasing, I admired the two girls. They were not relatives of the down syndrome teenagers, they were volunteers who took them for an outing. Though they were stern, they did love the kids. They had something in them which I did not have. Patience, love, compassion and courage. They were only teenagers but they were capable. Where did they learn to be like that? I’m impressed.

Sydney 22nd Feb 08

I had a wonderful dinner tonight. Sushi rice with sashimi, fresh oysters and unagi (eel) served with pickled ginger and wasabi complimented with white wine. It was superbly delicious and satisfying. I wish Leslie was around to experience it since oysters are one of his favorites. The 3 of us started to eat at 7pm but only completed our meal after 10pm. Why? Because we shared and talked and took our own sweet time to eat and drink. It was Bob’s treat to celebrate my arrival at Sydney. Yes, I’m being loved and I appreciate it.

(my sister preparing dinner)

(Our Dinner)

Having landed in a Western nation for the first time was a pretty much interesting. It was new for me to see Caucasians working as cleaners. Having lived in Malaysia all these while, I’ve been used to seeing either foreign Asian laborers or locals working as such while the “Mat Salleh’s held white collar jobs. It actually took me a few minutes to process that I was actually on a foreign land.

The architecture of the old houses in Sydney are actually pretty much similar to the colonial buildings that we have in Malaysia, the only difference is that, their buildings have been well maintained whilst many of our old buildings have been very much neglected or modified. Of course there were other kind of buildings too which I loved and felt as beautiful. I am actually impressed that many of the old buildings here have been retained and well maintained and are still being used as what it used to be.

We went to the Sydney Fish Market. This fish market is the second largest in the world, a great variety of fresh seafood can be found here at a simply irresistible prices. Lobsters, super big crabs, oysters, prawns, sashimis…..you name it…..I could not help but drool over the variety of seafood. There are many cafes that serve sumptuous seafood meals in this market and they are very much affordable. Guess who runs most of the business here? Yes, I was amused to discover that most of the stalls were run by Chinese and they did it professionally.

(Lobsters at 25 dollars each) (Bob buying some fish) (Guess what, Malaysian Octopus)

(Happy Chinese New Year) (Fresh Seafood)

After the market, we dropped by at New South Wales University to collect some documents and we drove past the most beautiful seaside I ever saw in my whole entire life (as for now). At 2pm, the breeze was superb and the view was captivating. I’ll make sure that I’ll spend some time at these beaches.

(Beautiful Hor?)

It’s summer here in Sydney and the temperature today is 28 degree Celsius. Though it is sunny but the breeze is cool, causing me to forget that the sun is actually shining very brightly up there in the sky. The air is very dry and yes people here have been actually advised to use sun blocks and hats as preventive measures for skin illnesses especially here in Australia.

It’s late now, and I should call it a day, need to catch up with the sleep I lost last night.



Web Counter

Greetings from Sydney

I touched down at Sydney this morning at 9.30am (6.30am Malaysian time). The journey was unpleasent as I was squeezed between two ladies who took up alot of space as they slept. I did not manage to catch any sleep. I was dissapointed not to get a seat by the window and the lady who sat next to me chose to keep our window shut. Nevertheless, I did manage to peep through other windows and managed to get a glimpst or two of South East Austrialia which is of course so much more bigger compared to Malaysia. Yes it was facinating though I was very frustrated on the plane.

I'm very groggy at the moment due to my lack of sleep but i have to say that I love Sydney already. Kensington is where I live and it is surrounded by a very beautiful park. Today, i understood why people here shoot ducks, they are like crows, they mess up swimming pools and leave their droppings everywhere.

Shall update more soon when i'm more settled, shall be having dinner now, Sushi rice with sashimi's and fresh oysters, yummy.

Today is 21st Feb 08, so many things have happened for the past few days. Highlights includes loosing my wisdom tooth and babysitting Shawn for 1 full day.

I never expected my last four day to pass by so quickly but it was a good 4 days. I'm now waiting at the Airport for my flight, I'm abit anxious, it's my first flight out of South East Asia and I don't know what to expect.

Shall update more on my trip to Sydney. Adios as for now, apologies to all of whom I could not or forgot to meet up with, see you all again after April 21st 08.


Web Counter

11 Feb 08

When you do something that you don’t really like and yet you force yourself to do it because you know you should do it, you struggle through. Sometimes you don’t enjoy what you do because you are not capable enough, you don’t have the right wisdom to handle situations so much so that you become discouraged easily because you don’t see the fruits of your efforts.

What hurts the most is when people who do not see what you are going through simply walks into your life and criticizes with comments that reminds you that you have failed. Discouraging and judgmental stares are already bad enough, what makes it worst is when they make remarks that pierce you through. They say things which they know that are hurtful and negative. They don’t even care about your feelings, what is important to them is that they have sent their message across that they don’t think highly of you.

Such people are the worst ever mentor anyone could ask for. Of course fairytale stories tell us that it is through such remarks that people become motivated to be successful and is what they are today because they wanted so much to prove those negative people wrong. No doubt, some people’s success were driven by such remarks but very often, these unhelpful remarks actually left negative impact in the lives of many. They leave scars and pulls down people’s self –esteem, reminding them that they are useless and good for nothing.

We are gifted beings but negative comments cause us to forget that we are capable of making changes. Comments help us to improve and be better, but when comments are too strong and is overly negative, it discourages.

I don’t mind comments or criticisms, though it hurts but it helps and I recover easily and become motivated to do something about it if it was like this…..
“ Erm….I think it is…….why don’t you consider…….”
“….it is not bad, but…………”
“I disagree with you, I believe……..”

But when people use words like these, I rebel. I become hurt and I wish I would never ever have to meet the person ever again……
“You are just like……useless and good for nothing”
“Such simple things also don’t know how to do, hopeless”
“…….are you stupid or what….”

Someone criticized me with today with the most unhelpful words. I disliked it terribly. Actually I’ve been used to such comments from this particular person, perhaps it also explains why my relationship with this person has never improved all this while. Many times I have tried to change my mindset towards this person, to learn to love and accept this person, but each time I’m bombarded with such remarks, I go back to square one, loosing all the good feelings I had of the person.

Juat another day

10 Feb 08

Today, I attended my class reunion. It was the first time I gathered for Lunar New Year with my Form 6 mates. Thanks to Chee Keong our monitor, this gathering was possible.
When Chee Keong invited me to his house, I had no idea that this was our class gathering, I thought it was just a normal open house where his other friends would also be there, much to my surprise, there was no one at his place when we arrived.

We had steamboat together with some other dishes prepared by Chee Keong himself. Since we graduated, I have met up a few times with this group of friends but I guess today was most enjoyable. Perhaps the main reason is because we were not gathering in a restaurant. We had the freedom of space and we could joke and laugh freely like how we used to at school.

After our simple steamboat, our pious brother Chee Seong surprised us with 4 bottles of beer, we shared the beer among the 12 of us followed by 2 hours of Jim Rummy. Yes we gambled but of course in small scale, just for the fun of it. All of us went home as winners except for our banker brothers, our host himself and Choon Ming the lawyer. Nothing great happened today, but I enjoyed myself, I was glad to be in the company of some good friends.

All we did was to spend time together and that was what bonded us. Yes, simple things makes me happy!

Ghee.....

5th Feb 08

Sensing that I have added on some weight, I decided to do some exercise at Bukit Dumbar. It was around 5.30pm, so there were not many young people at the park as most young people were still at work. Other than myself, there was another Malay chap who was around my age. I ran round the tracks and I noticed that he was observing me though not in a lustful manner. Like me, his stamina was not very good though he was not fat like me. Perhaps he used me as a benchmark on how many rounds he should run. Of course I felt awkward to have someone observing me do my exercise, I was shy but to be honest, I used him as a benchmark too.

I could not take the awkwardness and I left the track to elsewhere for my exercise. 5 minutes later, I bumped into him again, I was shocked to see him, and he was shocked too. He stared at me out of shock and suddenly laughed. I felt so awkward that I just left straight for home; I did not want to bump into him again. It felt so weird.

Just for fun

Keep smiling =)

Another Thought

"Living in the past denies me from appreciating the present, how can the future even exist under such circumstances?"

Here I go again!

29 January 08

I am going to see the world again. Having collected my flight tickets from the MAS ticketing office this afternoon, I am confirmed to fly off to Sydney on the 21st of February at 10pm at night.

There is no denying that I am excited about this trip, but this excitement comes with anxiousness. I am looking forward to experience what Down Under has to offer but at the same time the low self esteem me has some fear too. The ghost of Hong Kong still haunts me. It was not traumatic neither was it pleasant. My other concern is actually about leaving my parents again for 2 months. Having adapted them with my presence for these few weeks, they will have to readapt themselves again with my absence. Though it’s kindda painful, I just could not waste this trip.

I’m taking this opportunity to visit Sydney whilst my sister and bro-in-law are there. Sydney is the universal food paradise, renowned for its splendid variety of food. I’ve been constantly urged by my sister to go and see and I shall see what good food is all about.

I’ve been to Hong Kong and Thailand but I’ve never been to the other side of the world where the western culture is dominant. It’s going to be a whole new experience and I should not miss it. With two months in hand and limited funds, I wonder how I can maximize this trip. I shall be spending some time surveying on some possibilities. Keep me in prayer that I may make the most out of this trip and not only benefit myself but also for others too.

My hope from this trip is that I shall return positively renewed.

Simple Thoughts...

29 January 08

Simple things in life make me happy, and I’m glad to share it with you…..


“To feel the joy that leaps within another person and to later discover that the seed of happiness was planted by you.”

~Yours Truly~

A letter

27 January 08

To my dear friend,

Of late you have been very unkind towards one of your very good friend. You have ignored her presence and have diverted all the attention that you used to shower her with towards another friend.

I guess there has to be a reason to why you are ignoring her. Perhaps she made you angry, perhaps she is just being unlucky because she reminds you of something that you do not wish to remember.

Your friend has no guts to tell you this but she is very hurt by your coldness towards her. She cannot understand why your friendship has been abandoned for unknown reasons. As she craves for you to return, she begins to be frustrated as she sees you spending more time with the other friend. Jealousy you may call it, but each time she sees both of you together, her heart aches more. She finds it difficult to face your new found best friend.

It saddens me to see what has happened to such a beautiful friendship. Such a shame to see someone so cheerful suddenly become depressed. I am far away but I hope you will be kind enough to be compassionate towards your friend. I am not asking you to abandon your new found friend but I hope you will not just dump your old friend and leave her such great pain……I wish not to suffer such similar fate in our relationship.


Yours Truly
A friend to both of you

My friend

26th January 08

Since coming back to Penang, everyday has been eventful.
Errrrmmmm….on second thoughts, I think I should say that something new is being experienced each day. Life has been dull actually. For the past 6 years of my life, my everyday life is being surrounded by people. I'm so used to having people around me so much so that sometimes, I used to crave for some privacy. Since coming back to Penang, I find myself feeling lonely most of the time.

It's not that I don't have friends. I do have friends but everyone has their own personal life to live, some even have children already, therefore their social life has also been reduced, it’s time to focus more on the serious things in life. I spend most of my time at home with my parents but our topics are very limited, more towards family issues, nothing much related to personal sharings of experiences or modern living or even faith talk.

Today, I met up with my good and faithful buddy. Oy Leng has been one of my closest friend for more than 15 years already. We come from two different worlds but it’s amazing how Hokey brought us together to become the best of friends. We spent the whole afternoon together and I found it most enjoyable just hanging out with her, doing nothing. Hah. !

There are many friends, some come and some go, not many are going to stay and remain faithful. This is a reality in today's society. If I am going to be stubborn and believe that all the people whom I call friends today are going to keep me close to their heart then I guess I should expect myself to be disappointed in time to come.

I once had a dear friend, we were close, I shared my innermost feelings with her and even revealed some of my secrets. She shared a lot about herself too. During our convocation, we cried and hugged each other because we had to go separate ways. I thought we would still be friends after that. We had handphones and emails to stay in touch but this friend of mine chose to put an end to our friendship. She never replied all my emails and smses, she never answered my phone calls too. I was hurt, I was angry, I told Leslie I did not care for her anymore but the truth is that if she would be in trouble today, my heart would bleed for her. I cannot pretend that I do not know her and just ignore her though I am definitely sure that I would not be that attached towards her anymore.

As I grow older, I learned to accept disappointment in friendships. When friends choose not to be friends anymore, I accept it though it hurts and go on with life. As for friends who remain as friends, I cherish them and include them my life's journey. Friends like Oy Leng are like precious jewels; unique and hard to find. I guess I'm very fortunate that I can't say Oy Leng is my best friend because besides Oy Leng, I have many more friends who remain as precious jewels in my life and I really thank God for each and everyone of them.

Fr. Matthew Bun's Ordination

25th January 08



For the 1st time in my whole entire life, I attended an ordination of priesthood. This morning, Deacon Matthew Bun was ordained as a priest. I cannot really identify why I was so excited about this whole event but I was really happy to be there.
There were a few reasons to why I had to be there. 1stly, Deacon Matthew is my friend's brother, a reason for me to show my support. Secondly, for the very first time, someone from our parish was ordained as a priest; another reason for me to show my support. Thirdly, I have never seen a priestly ordination before therefore; I should at least attend one to understand how special the sacrament of Holy Order was.

My mum commented on how well dressed Deacon Matthew's parents were. Well, they should, it's their son's special day, he was to be married to the church, why should they not be dressed for it? I was deeply touched by the whole rite of ordination, when the litany of the saints were sung, I nearly shed tears (again, I can't explain why, the tears just nearly flowed). I looked around and realized that many ladies were touched too, many were wiping off the tears. I was also touched when the entire priest present laid their hands on the deacon followed by the kiss of peace. A sign of unity and brotherly acceptance of Deacon Matthew into the brotherhood of priests.

During the ordination, I wished my students were there with me to observe this auspicious event. I had also wished that my non- Catholic Christian friends were there to see the whole ordination process. Perhaps they might appreciate the role of our priest better just as I learned today?

Through this ordination, I realized how sacred and special the holy order was. Now I understand what great big responsibility a priest had and how holy he was. Now as his journey as a priest begins, I pray that Fr. Matthew will be a good priest, blessed with God’s graces as he serves God and his people.

(Source of photo is from the internet)

It's about Sex!

24th January 08

Journeying with students for 3 years, I have tolerated with many things. Like what Fr. Chris said in his blog, I never had the heart to scold the students even though there were moments when they deserved a good scolding. I hardly scold people actually except for family members and someone else of whom I shall not mention.

I never expected myself to scold anyone even after I left the Campus Ministry but today, I had to do it. Somebody of whom I've been helping asked me to have sex with him. Though I was shocked, I was sad. I was sad because he did not know how to think.

Where was his self-respect I wondered? I was shocked at how simple his mind was. Was he being naïve? Did he know what sex was all about? To strip oneself naked in front of a person you hardly knew and let the person touch your most precious body, I could never do that.
I was partially angry actually; I failed to teach him how to respect me. I saw myself as a failure because he saw me as a sex object instead of a guide. I tried to be understanding but deep inside, I felt like killing his most inspiring friends.

My 3 years experience as a campus minister was not enough to teach me to handle this situation well. To make things worst, I was the one who was involved. I tried to explain to him why I would never have sex with him but still he could not understand. I had no choice but to cut contacts with him. I am grateful that I now live in Penang and not in KL where he could come and disturb me.

This guy is not uneducated; he is well educated and will be a professional some day. Yet, his approach showed how immature he was. I could not help but wonder what kind of background he came from.

I don't 100% blame him for being what he is. I blame his surrounding, I blame his inspiring friends, I blame the system and the society for having failed to teach people basic human values. As for now, I'm still in shock and am confused.

Thaipusam

23 January 08


Today is Thaipusam. Thaipusam is a very big event here in Penang. I remember the chariot passing by my school on the eve and on the day after Thaipusam. Devotees would follow along the procession whilst others waited along the roadside waiting to pay homage to the Hindu God.

As a kid, I loved Thaipusam. I always found the processions fascinating and had always wished that my parents would bring me to the temple where the Kavadi bearers were pierced. Of course it never happened as my mum said it’ll be silly to be caught in the congestion and squeeze through the crowds.

When I moved to KL, I was surprised that people were not excited at Thaipusam as the Penangites. Nobody seemed to be bothered about it. Of course there’s the big celebration at Batu Caves but none of my KL friends were excited enough to check it out.

I had things to do today so I did not go and observe Thaipusam at the Waterfall Road but I wish to go the next year. I hope Leslie will be around by then to join me. I want to understand why it does not hurt when the Kavadi bearers are pierced, I understand the faith of the Hindus, to appreciate what others believe in.

Yes I am a curious cat.

(Ever wondered why all these piercing never left wounds?)

Happy Birthday Mummy

22nd January 08

Today, mum turns 72. Mum was 45 when I was born. I believe it must have been pretty challenging to carry a child at that age.

Today at 72, mum is papa’s best friend, his precious jewel, so precious that he cannot afford to loose her. Mum has gone through a lot actually. Today, her weak legs can’t carry her far, she has diabetes, high blood pressure, back problems…… despite all these, and she has persevered and tried her best to make sure that papa remains well.

Some interesting facts about mummy

• She never learned English at school but her vocabulary and grammar is grade A. Her only problem is her pronunciation.


• Mummy cannot quote the bible at all, but she can tell you about how much faith she has in God for everything that happens in life. She hardly uses the word luckily, she replaces it with “ with God’s blessings”


• Mummy never uses the recipe book, she just dumps everything in. She does that to cakes too.


• With only RM 600 per month, Mummy still managed to make sure that all her daughters finished school and received higher education.

I don’t really know what makes mummy happy but I cooked birthday mee for her. She requested for it yesterday so I went to the market this morning to get the ingredients. I can’t remember You Moh’s birthday mee ingredients but I tried to make it as similar as it was. Honestly, I was pretty much happy with its outcome, I think mummy was happy too.

I don't know what makes mummy happy but what makes me happy is to see her smile with satisfaction each time I do something right.

(Mummy and her birthday mee)

It's about CIKU

21st January 08

I love fruits. As usual, I’m always different from others and yes things that I usually go gaga over are not easily available. This is one of my favorite fruit. It’s called Ciku not Cikgu. (yeah when we were in school, we used to call our teachers Ciku whenever we felt naughty)

Ciku is a seasonal fruit and is not loved by everyone. Why? Because it has a sandy texture and sometimes the fruit produces latex that leaves your mouth sticky and sometimes the centre of the fruit may be bitter.

Despite all these, I still love ciku. It’s sweetness is indescribable and the satisfaction that I get each time I feast myself with this fruit is addictive, I crave for it whenever I think of Ciku.
My sister is fond of Ciku too and my neighbor is aware of it. That’s why she gave us one bag full of Cikus. My neighbor’s ciku tree produces one of the best cikus in town. Look at its size, it’s big and juicy and yummy.

About Ciku

• eat the fruit only when it’s ripe. It’s not like mango or papaya. Don’t expect it to taste like a jeruk when it’s raw, raw ciku taste horrible, trust me.
• A ciku is ripe when it’s a little bit soft. If the fruit is hard, leave it. Resist, patience will pay off. To help ciku ripen sooner, put it in the rice bucket. It helps.
• A ripe ciku is brown on the inside, if it’s greenish or creamy looking, that means the fruit is not ripe yet.
  
  

Attractive food.....yummy?

20 Jan 08

My sister had been away from Shawn and his dad for a week and she wanted to get them a gift. Walking up and down “Queensbay Mall” we had no idea of what to get Shawn. My sister had no plans to spoil her son with some expensive toy, all she wanted was to get him something simple, just enough to make the curious little boy happy.
Suddenly, we saw this rat.

“Do you think it’s plastic or is it a sweet?” I asked my sister.
“Don’t know lah, it looks like it can be eaten”
“I wonder how much is it? If I’m Shawn, I think I’ll be delighted to have a sweet like this”
My sister agreed.

There were three rats. The single rat costs RM 5, a bigger but more complicated looking rat cost RM 10 while a double rat cost RM 15. My sister asked for the RM 5 rat. And the man started to make the rat. Honestly, both of us were fascinated by the rat ourselves and we were curious how it was made, never in our life had we seen a sweet as interesting as this.

And so, our candy seller scooped some sticky candy from the box with a little stick, then, HE PUT THE CANDY IN HIS HAND, AND USED HIS BARE HANDS TO ROLL THE CANDY INTO A BALL. I stared at him, I was shocked. Did he even wash his hands I wonder? I looked at my sister; honestly, I didn’t think it would be a good idea for Shawn to even put the candy into his mouth.

It was not over yet. After he had formed the little candy ball, he pulled the candy, pulled the tip of the candy and PUT THE TIP INTO HIS MOUTH AND STARTED TO BLOW THE CANDY! Yes that was how that little RAT was formed. My jaw dropped open; I could see clearly that my sister was shocked to. We grinned at each other.

I guess our reaction made the candy maker loose his concentration, the crowed around his stall was getting bigger and he just wanted to get rid of both of us, he took the RM 15 candy on display and gave it to my sister, taking only RM 5 from her. We left as fast as we could, we could not hold our laugher anymore.

So, next time you see an attractive food, it’s good to imagine or at least know how it was made. I for sure would be a bit skeptical towards food that came from certain regions but I shan’t reveal what I think because I might be wrong and it will be unfair towards some people.
Anyway, one of the little rats did not survive the journey, it melted. Maybe because my sister pinched it hahaahahahaha.

In His Time

19 Jan 08

After spending yesterday evening with Shawn and his dad I headed back for Penang. I was actually scared. I had never driven alone all the way back from KL to Penang. I have driven long distance but had never done it alone; my longest journey alone was from Ipoh to KL.
I selected my favorite CD, tuned to my favorite station and headed to Penang. As I drove, many things came into my mind, “Jenn, how can you leave this place without solving things?” flashed into my mind again. I just could not get rid of it.
Suddenly, tears flowed from my eyes. I had no control over it. I did not know why either. Yes, I actually cried all the way from KL to Penang. As I approached Juru, the tears stopped. The radio played John Denver’s Annie’s Song. Suddenly, I felt joy, I felt peace, I could not describe the feeling. I could not understand why I cried neither can I explain my feelings but I guess it was an act of God. A healing process perhaps?
Of late, I’ve been troubled by many things, particularly in a friendship. I could not comprehend what was happening between us and it hurt me badly. I sense that I was loosing this friend of whom I loved so much. What hurt the most was that I could not reason out what went wrong. I became bitter and angry towards this friend. Interestingly enough, after those tears, my anger towards this friend just left. All the stress and tension just disappeared.
God really works in mysterious ways indeed and I began to hum the song “In His Time”

IN HIS TIME, IN HIS TIME
HE MAKES ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME
LORD, PLEASE SHOW ME EVERYDAY
AS YOU’RE TEACHING ME YOUR WAY
THAT YOU DO JUST WHAT YOU SAY
IN YOUR TIME

IN YOUR TIME, IN YOUR TIME
YOU MAKE ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL
IN YOUR TIME
LORD, MY LIFE TO YOU I BRING
MAY EACH SONG I HAVE TO SING
BE TO YOU A LOVELY THING
IN YOUR TIME

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

18 Jan 08



Today, I shifted out of Xavier Hall. I cannot deny that I dreaded for this day to come. I had loved Xavier Hall. It was my home for the past nine months. I felt so much at home in this place. Xavier Hall, a place with so much potential with so much to be experienced.

Slowly as I placed my very last box in the car, “Jenn, how can you leave this place without solving things?”

That question, or more of a comment pierced into my heart. I wished there was a perfect farewell for me at Xavier Hall but something had happened recently and that perfect farewell never took place. Definitely I was sad, I was hurt, I was bitter. Yet, I’m not giving up, I shall continue to try and solve what I left unfinished.

I bade my little brothers and sisters farewell, took their cutest shot, gave everyone a hug including my boss and waved them goodbye.

Finally, John Denver’s song became a reality; the only difference was that I left in WCN 2708 and not a jet plane. Room number 44 is vacant again.

(my little family at XHRC)

No charge for love

For my little sister......

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of little boy.
"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies"
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment.Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer."I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle."Here, Dolly!" he called.Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up...

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said,"You see sir, I don't run too well myself,and he will need someone who understands"

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.Holding it carefully handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy.

"No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love." The world is full of people who need someone who understands.